My Legacy (poems by amandaleighsg)

New Years.

You remind me of a burn victim.

Screaming for pain.

Agony rushing through their veins.

And when you touch me my body turns ice cold.

Like I've been locked in a freezer for months.

But when you kiss me it's like a tsunami of force and anger crashing over me.

Destroying every inch of who I am.

I remember the night you changed.

Like a flash from a camera being sucked back into space.

You were just so angry all the time.

Never truly satisfied.

Always pushing me to do things I didn't want to do.

And I played along.

When I look back,

I'm not sure why.

Maybe it's because I didn't want you to be angry at me.

Or maybe it's because I didn't have anywhere else to go.

Regardless, I stayed through it all.

I remember the first time I really felt my soul leave.

Little bit by bit.

Pieces shattering with every second I stay holding your hand.

And yet no words are said.

Just broken fragments frozen in time.

It was 11:58, December 31, 2016.

We were at a party with a group of friends.

You wouldn't stop grabbing my arm.

You kept showing everyone that we were a couple.

As if that was necessary to prove.

We had been dating for a year and two months.

Yet you felt the need to let every guy in the room know that I was your property.

After the ball dropped, you brought me back to my place.

You tried to explain to me that not all guys would wait for me like you did.

You said "I'm special."

You told me that it wasn't fair to you that you weren't getting any.

And this is where I realized; I hate you,

For you are the reason I hate big rusted over trucks.

You are the reason I hate alcohol.

You are the reason I hate New Years.