Cat Fight In The Kitchen-Wattpad Rant

Tomboys

Usually, they brag about two things: how manly they are and how many men they've bedded.

Have you ever noticed that most of these tomboys are "sluts"? And that's kind of the thing that makes them a tomboy—they are open about their sexual activities? That tends to annoy me, because let's be honest. You know how I feel about it. Sex is sex. There's not really a huge reason to brag (but maybe that's because when I grew up everyone lied about being a virgin and we came to a mass agreement in eighth grade that oral sex doesn't count as real sex (like, we took a vote at lunch one day)).

Who gives a shit how many people you sleep with? If it's consensual, does it matter? No. Not really. So if we could go easy on the "slut" thing, that would be cool. So what if she has sex? So what if she's a virgin? News flash. No one cares.

And like I said, they brag about how good they are at guy things. Like, everyone says athletes are super cocky, and that's why tomboys have to be cocky, because they're typically athletes. But here's the deal, in my entire twenty-something years of experience with athletes the good ones are cocky. The great ones are humble.

Like, y'all realize I was ranked in the top three in the state of two different sports for three years of high school, right? And my best friend was state ranked in the top three in three sports and nationally ranked (number two, I think) in one for four years? Probably not, because it's not something I consistently brag about. Partially because that was a while ago, but mostly because, I knew I was good. I was good enough to know that everyone else didn't have to know. I wish more of these tomboys were like that.

So they're smart. That's great. But I don't have to hear about how they're number one in their class. Mostly because I don't care to be told that. I'd rather see their knowledge in action.

4. Clean up nice

This is the absolute favorite cliché that seems to end up in every single tomboy story. There's always a moment when there's like a dance or something and she ends up having to get girlified. Like, she does the hair, the makeup, the dress, the shoes, the whole nine yards. Then everyone notices they have amazing cheek bones and gorgeous eyes and a perfect ass and gigantic boobs and everyone is super impressed.

And in a way, I understand this one more than the others. I got voted to be a homecoming representative every year of high school and had to do the whole dress-up thing and be part of the homecoming court or whatever and I did go to prom three years in a row (mostly for the after parties, because later curfew those nights and plenty of alcohol, shame).

And every year I got comments about it, but not in the typical, "Oh my gosh, you're the most beautiful girl ever." They were almost like backhanded compliments. Think more like, "Whoa. It kinda looks like you have boobs". "Your sweat and glitter look the same". "Addy's man-calves actually look smaller in heels". (Yes, they called me man-calves because I have the legs of a runner and all the guys just thought it was the cutest nickname (can you hear me rolling my eyes?)) "Holy shit, you're tiny. Like, it looks like you lost a ton of weight when you wear stuff that actually fits". "It looks less like you wanna kill me and more like you just hate the world" (because I have the worst resting bitch face ever, y'all. It's seriously so bad).

And one of my favorite things was that my best friend would always treat me more politely. Like, he's always nice to me, but when I'd get dressed up he wouldn't punch me in the arm or mess with my hair or anything. And I'd tease him about it and he'd just grin at me.

So I get it, but at the same time, I wish it was more of comic relief than some big dramatic moment. Like, to me, having people comment that I almost had boobs was more in character than them saying "you're stunning." And I like backhanded compliments. Those are always way more fun (and surprisingly meaningful.

Also, just a kind of side story that goes with this, I always wore t-shirts, but on the very rare occasion that I'd wear a v-neck I always got a ton of comments. Mostly just "v-neck!" But sometimes you'd have that special person that's just a little slower than all the rest and doesn't understand subtleties that would yell "boobs!" Good grief.

So there's your rant. Hope you enjoyed. If you did, leave a comment. If you didn't, leave a comment. If you have anything to add, leave a comment. If you have a tomboy character, leave a comment! What do you think? Are you considered a tomboy? Or maybe a girly-girl? Or maybe you don't want to be either. Anything at all you wanna say, say it in the comments!

And for my funny story...ummm...lemme think of something.

Oh, okay. So, when I was young, I just hung out with my brother and my best friend and his brothers. So all guys. And that's why he calls me "girl", sometimes. Because I was the only girl. But anyway, so my best friend is very much the middle child, no matter how you look at it. The age order went his older brother, my old brother, him, me, his younger brother. So, he's very much the middle one. And we didn't usually get to hang out with his brothers as much, so a lot of times it was just my brother, him, me (which is why he sometimes calls me baby, because I am the baby (I'm also my dad's baby and at all the coaches would say that when I got to help at practice, "Don't break the baby!")).

But despite him being very much the middle child, he was always the instigator of things. Like, he was the ring leader of our little gang and I just think that is so funny. Like, he could get his older brother and my older brother to do anything. And obviously I was game for anything he wanted to do because I just like hanging out with him. And when we'd do something we shouldn't have, he was always the one to threaten everyone not to tell our parents. I just like that he was the leader of our gang. We were such fun little kids.