Nina's diary.

For the very last time.

Two weeks later.

" Nina , for pitt's sake, where are you going again?" Abby screeched.

"I'll be back by lunch, just a minute!" I screamed as I left Abby there bewildered and scurry down the walkway like I used to.

It's funny really because my feet just keeps walking like it knew exactly where I ache to go. I came back to the woods again. For the very last time.

Abby and I already decided to finish college in New York. And I don't know if I will ever see this town again or the woods or the people and the things that I used to love or hate. It doesn't really matter though-this things won't matter years from now.

I stood under the maple tree where the boy carved our initials. It's still there, T and N . Every leaf glistened with raindrops from the afternoon rain that had showered an hour ago. Like tears they dripped down upon me when the wind gusted falling on my hair down on my cheeks. This is also where I  found his last note and where I left my diary. I searched under those enormous roots, hoping someone hasn't found it yet and threw it away, far, far where I can no longer find it again. I was sure none because after all, this is wonderland right? No one finds things or people or this place to be certain until they've gone mad like me.

But it's gone.

For a second I felt really disappointed. How could someone actually found it? And then I thought maybe the woods lost it's charms. Or maybe it's not really speciall. It's just something like what those kids believed in when they're younger and been told too much fairytales by their parents.

It's not special, I told myself a hundred times trying to soaked in all the words I could. None of this was special. Not the woods, or the boy. Or even Tony. 

And so I decided to go. Arms wrapped around my chest, Ipod blasting on my ears.

Here and there the wind moved curiously with the fallen leaves where they had beenresting since the winter came.

 I thought I heard someone calling me so I twist around to see who it was. But nothing's in there except those trees standing firm and still from the edge of the wood so I continued walking until I sprinted over out across the lane.

Twenty feet way from me is a white figure, blasting it's horn.

And In that split second everything was black accompanied by the muffled crackling of bones and joints.And then my whole body doesn't really feel much anything after that  except the cold asphalt from which I fell. Something liquid and sticky was falling from my head until I'm slowly loosing it, drifting away again. I tried to open my eyes even for partly and saw a figure obscuring the dark blue bruised sky The figure was shaking me abruptly,  It sounds like he's crying but I couldn't really tell. I was falling into a deep hole-Like the one Alice fell to In wonderland.. And then I can see all their faces, laughing. Lindsay,Mom,Tony, The boy. I've never seen them as happy as this before.The woods, Those curved Initials.

T and N. 

And then in the blink of an eye everything came flashing back. The first time I saw my mom cried when she caught my dad cheating and I couldn't help myself seeing her like that so I ran to the woods. That note pressed against those roots. Tony and the boy's smile, how they look so much alike. Abby's piercing sound of scream when I accidentally spill coffee all over her Victoria's secret top from too much laughing. And the last time I saw Tony's face, terrified. I wanted to hold him and tell him, "Things will be alright." but I was too weak to even open my eyes wide enough to cast my last glimpse and I felt terrified for myself. What if everything just stops here? 

Death.

Could it be? How selfish it was.

And then everything was white, like those in movies when the person is dies.