You and I

Chapter 39 - I'm sorry

The same blue eyes and the similar face but the feelings I felt toward him is totally different from Anton. There is no feeling of affection or gratefulness towards him at all.
Just emptiness.
He looks shocked at my reply but quickly gains his smile back.
Anton nudges me.
I know he too was shocked at my reply and wants me to correct my statement but heck if I was.
"Oh well of course you must be surprised," he reasons.
I fake a smile at him.
"Very unpleasantly, sir"
His smile vanishes at this. Finally my hatred seems to have reached him.
"Well....."
"Why are you here?" I say.
"Phoebe, what are you saying!" Anton shouts from the back.
I choose to ignore him.
"Well I wanted to meet the woman who has grandsons heart"
I stare at him with anger.
"Your grandson! How is he your grandson, have you earned that title that your using it so freely?"
"Phoebe!" Anton shouts and pulls me.
Our eyes meet and his shows that he is enraged but right now he didn't scare me a bit. My own rage was overcoming his.
"What!" I shout back.
"I'm speaking the truth!" I say and force my hands out of his hold and look back at Shawn.
"Was he ever there for you when you needed him? Or was just he just there when you were the happiest"
"Phoebe, what are you saying, it's because of him I'm good at music and I became who I am! You know it!"
"I know it, that's why I'm saying what I am saying. He was there for you when he knew you were good at music, when you won the school trophy. Only then did he show up didn't he? Where was he before then? When you were alone and in need of someone!"
"When your father was beating you for trying to be like him!" I shout and point at Shawn.
"Didn't he ever think of how his grandson was doing when you were little Anton, did he even visit you?"
Anton's raged face falls and he looks he's in realization of the same fact too. He doesn't argue about the fact anymore but his eyes show that he doesn't want me to quarrel anymore but nothing was keeping my reasons and anger in.
"And news to you Anton he didn't make you good as a musician, you yourself did, by your efforts and hard work," I reason.

I stare at him for moments and he doesn't make any statement. I turn at Shawn, his eyes holds sadness but he is quiet.

"I suppose I am not wanted here," He says with a smile. I feel a pang at my chest which is somehow the guilt I feel for humiliating that way but I do not regret it at all.
"Grandpa...." Anton says from behind.

I say no more as he walks past me giving me a sad reassuring smile and disappears in the dark night.

I wait several moments before I say,

"I know you must hate me right now-"
"Hate you! I despise you right now Phoebe. I thought you might forget the past and start anew with me but you lied! You held the grudge that was gone long before. I thought you forgave easily that's why I brought him here tonight but you insulted him-"

"Hate me all you want but it wasn't me who he hurt it was the man I love that's why I couldn't forgive him for the apology he never made. Sorry if I hurt you but that was something I wanted to say to your grandfather," I say stubborn.

"But-"

"Goodnight and yeah I love the lightings," I say and kiss him on the cheek and walk away from him.

He doesn't stop me and that hurts. My heart hurts but I know so does Antons.

I didn't mean to hurt him, it was never my intention but it was my intention to make Mr Kruz feel like he needed to be a responsible grandfather rather than a businessman.

I slam the door shut as I enter the room. I am shocked to see Kristen and Charlotte sitting on my bed. They seemed to be on an interesting topic because they completely ignore me.
"Hey," I say in a low voice. Both of them turn their attention to me. They do not look jolly and Kristen looks to be in trance. Just then do I realise that my best friend did really tell them about her pregnancy.
I look at Charlotte.
"So, you told her"
She nods.
Kristen doesn't say anything and stares at Charlotte.
"Charlotte, what you did was really immature, I cannot support you for that one but the baby that you are carrying isn't to be blamed for it," she says. "Remember"
Kristen doesn't want Charlotte to abort the baby and frankly neither do I.
I slowly walk towards my bed.
"What Kristen is saying is right, did you make your choice yet?"
Charlotte shakes her head.
"I'm planning on telling my parents first, only then," she looks up at us. Her eyes hold fear but her voice is stern.
I give her an encouraging smile.
"We will always support you, know that," I hug her and Kristen joins.
"Yeah, you can still be a Singer, after all it's about talent and you don't lack on that category"
Charlotte hugs us back and we remain like that for a long time.
Each one of us carrying our own burden and supporting one another with everything we've got.
I feel a hole on my chest narrowing at their presence.
"I love you guys," I say.
Both of them tease me for my sentiment but their happiness couldn't be missed.