Monster Minds [completed]

Chapter 24

I squeezed my eyes shut and willed it to be dream, but the occasional bump and shove by guards made it all too real.

This wasn't in my head; George was going to die.

A whimper escaped my throat upon the realization. But no one else heard the sound, as it was quickly absorbed in the excited shouts and jeers of the guards. Metal clanking could also faintly be heard, most likely the chains of prisoners who were forced to witness the death of another inmate. It was a cruel punishment the guards bestowed upon a few unlucky prisoners whenever someone was about to be executed to remind them of their impending doom.

The noises, as loud as they were, did not drown out my racing subconscious, which threatened to spill out into the world through the shaking of my lips.

My body began to shake. I had never before experienced an emotion response so obscure; every limb trembled with a life of its own. From afar, it probably looked as if I had been electrocuted, even tasered for that matter, but the erratic thumbing in my chest told me this was something more familiar to the human body; it was a panic attack.

My breathing became shallow and ice ran through my veins, freezing my blood in its path. It felt like the walls of the room were closing in towards me and I was being forced closer and closer to George's conscious body. My vision tunneled, and all I could see was the green coloured gurney and the machines that were being wheeled into the sealed room. If someone had even nudged me in that moment, I was sure I would have collapsed onto the ground and never been able to get up again.

Fat tears flowed freely from my eyes, unstoppable, disappearing into my trembling mouth. My breathing became louder, louder, and louder still, until it was so loud that it was the only thing I could hear. I didn't feel the steadying hand of a guard on my shoulder and I didn't feel my legs give out beneath me. But, I did feel the pain.

Every memory of George hit me like a slap to the face.

I remembered him teaching me how to use my recorder. I remembered him laughing with me over the donuts I brought into work and how the sugar stuck to his stubble. I remembered him teaching me to trust myself, teaching me how to love, and teaching me how to live without it.

"You were the daughter I never got to have."

The memory of his words echoed excruciatingly inside of my skull.

And before I could stop myself, I let out an ear-shattering scream that left the room in a deafening silence. All heads turned in my direction and I was left shrouded the light caused by my emotional alienation; no one else could understand what I was feeling; no one wanted to understand.

Suddenly, an arm was pulling me up, up, and up until my feet touched the ground again. I would have stumbled if it had not been for the steading hand on my back, the same hand that pulled me from the ground. Hot breath engulfed my neck in a sickening embrace, and my poor heart beat more rapidly than before.

"You shouldn't be here." The familiar voice caused sharp stabs of hatred to enter my heart, and in that moment, I wanted nothing more than to rid the world of its sound.

I had never before felt the amount of loathing towards another person than I did in that moment. Somehow, it calmed my breathing, and my vision broadened; I was able to see and feel everything around me, including the scowling face of my father.

"I have every right to be here, father." The word felt like poison in my mouth; I wanted to spit it out, purge myself of it, and cure it from my existence.

His hand tightened painfully on my shoulder, a reminder of his superior physical strength. I wrenched myself free with a muscle-tearing jerk of my arm, falling onto the glass wall in the process. My shoulder throbbed in agony and my heart quickened once again. I was sure that if my heart withstood any more shocks, I would suffer a heart attack and drop dead on the spot.