Monster Minds [completed]

Chapter 13

"I sat down to think things over a bit. While I was sitting there, a little kid about eleven or twelve years-old came bumming around. He was looking for something. He found it too. I took him out to a gravel pit about one quarter miles away. I left him there, but first committed sodomy on him and then killed him. His brains were coming out of his ears when I left him, and he will never be any deader."

- Carl Panzram was a convicted serial killer, arsonist, thief, burglar and rapist. Panzram confessed to his best friend and prison guard Henry Lesser to 22 murders and of sodomizing over 1000 young males. His killing spree began in 1920 when he started to lure young sailors from bars to rape and shoot them.

Chapter 13

The rhythmic beat of the heart beat monitor soothed my racing heart as I watched my fathers chest rise and fall. His face was yellow with bruising and an oxygen tube was now placed under his nose. The hand I held in mine was alien, bloodied rotten under the fingernails, blackened with blood clots.

The nurse had told me he had relapsed this morning; the doctors missed an internal injury that caused a large amount of internal bleeding, resulting in another near death experience for my father. When I asked more questions, she didn't elaborate, only telling me that he should wake up within the next few hours.

I gently squeezed his limp hand, patiently awaiting his wake into the world of the living. I didn't like seeing him so vulnerable, so weak. The father I liked to remember was always so strong and assertive; never letting anyone think that they were better or more important than he was. The simple fact was he was the boss. That title was the one thing that gave him so much authority and power over those that tried to challenge him.

I sighed as a laid my heavy head against the bed sheets beside him; silently praying he would wake up soon. My eyes fluttered close, my hand continuing to warm his cold one. The hospital bed sheets itched against my cheek, annoyingly rough for a blanket designed to help sick people recover.

My worry was making my stomach churn, contents rolling over and mixing with one another before making one big mess of my feelings. I knew he was going to be okay, but that didn't stop a gentle tear from sliding off of my cheek and soaking into the sheets. Finger wiping away the excess water, I slowly rose from my position to look upon his face once again. I needed him to wake up soon, so I could figure out this whole mess before someone else dies on my watch.

"Please, Dad, wake up." I whispered, my finger stroking the top of his hand. "I need you, now more than ever. Everything has gotten so confusing and twisted and—and I don't know who to trust anymore. I know you told me I couldn't trust anyone, but I thought that maybe, you know, I could. Just one person, Dad. But now, I don't even know if I can trust the guards or even your replacements... I haven't gotten anywhere with the inmate files and I'm starting to think that maybe, just maybe, they aren't the people I should be investigating. But before I go down that road, I need to know I have your support. So please, please, just wake up soon."

He stirred, awakening from the sound of my quiet voice. I sucked in a breath, squeezing his hand tight as his eyes began to slowly open. Eyelashes flicking, his blue eyes became visible in the afternoon sunlight that filtered through a high window. His breath caught in his throat as he attempted to bring himself into a sitting position. I gently pushed a hand onto his chest, stopping him from moving any further.

"Nurse!" I shouted, knowing she would be close, probably already been sent a message from his vital signs.

Satisfying my suspicions, she rushed in a second later to see if everything was okay. After a few minutes of her checking his vital signs and flashing a light into his sensitive eyes, she left with a small smile.