flight

you always wished to fly

i never understood why people cry when they have done nothing wrong. people always blame themselves and cry, then they are this weird person that changed. i have never liked change. and i have never wanted to be in a relationship.

then, sobs was what i heard. i don't understand how i heard it since i had my earbuds on. although, my music was softly playing and i saw a few people walk to the school and look in the direction of the row of trees in front of the school.

i looked at their direction and saw you. you were a mess and i shook my head in pity. i was going to continue my day, ignore you, but you started saying this girl's name out loud and it irritated me.

i held both of the ends of my backpack's straps, marching up to you. before i could open my mouth you wailed and wailed and wailed.

you were annoying, but you were also hurting. i may not understand relationships, but i understand how it feels to be hurt. i sighed and awkwardly tried to comfort you, but you only told me to go away and that you only wanted her.

so, i left.

and you continued crying. i could care less, but i was kind of worried about you. of course, i kept the same emotionless expression on my face as i walked class to class.

apparently you're in a few of my classes. and today, you were in none of them.

can i say this truthfully?

it's pathetic to cry over someone and ignore your own life. none of it was your fault and you would blame yourself? pathetic.

school is what makes your life better, to become better. and yet, you're out there crying.

then, my classmate started to whisper to me and my other classmate next to me. of course, everyone was curious and gossiped about why you were absent. how idiotic, they, i mean. putting their noses in other people's business and spreading rumors if someone hasn't showed up to school once.

" i heard him and -- "

i ignored them. i don't listen to rumors nor do i listen to something i shouldn't be involved in. however, i can be curious and i do want to know.

but, i haven't asked you. it's best if you are told with time than forcing it out of others.

i don't expect you to trust me, but it's hard to show comfort to someone. i barely know you. however, i can't help but feel bad for you. my eyes were tightly closed as i clenched tightly to my pencil.

" let's pay attention to the teacher. "

they looked at me in confusion and asked why i wasn't so curious to know. they thought i knew the truth and asked for my opinion. and to be honest, i don't know if i am right or not.

am i right? is it the truth?

whatever i knew was probably way better than what everyone was thinking. many were saying cancer, someone died, you died, suicide, and even murder. another said a broken heart and honestly, that's what i thought too. but, i don't know. i just seen you. we're not close. we're practically strangers.

right?

" he's already feeling bad, don't make it worst. "

they nodded and we continued to work on the lab assignment that we were given. i looked up at the teacher, but everything he was saying was on mute. i actually felt worried for you. it was so scary that it took me a while to come back to my senses as i started writing. the teacher called on me and of course, i already knew the answer.

all i knew was that you weren't okay. i should've said that to those two from my class. and i should've asked if you were okay.