A Letter To You

Letter Number 6 - CURRY!!

That’s when it hit me. That meant that more often than not I was going to be home alone and back then, that scared the shit out of me. My mum loved being a nurse though and I wasn’t going to stop her getting a job she loved, especially as it was as a trauma nurse which is what she’d always dreamed of doing.

I swallowed up my fear and said “That’s great, mum I’m so happy for you” with a completely fake smile plastered on my face.

“You sure, I won’t take it if you don’t want me too”

“No mum, its fine, I’ll be fine,” I lied. In reality I was absolutely petrified about having to spend most days of the week in a house, in a dodgy neighbourhood, all on my own.

A huge grin spread onto my mums face “yay” she squealed for the fourth freaking time! “Well, I’m going to go get ready, Oliver should be here soon as well so let him in when he gets here” my mum stated before skipping upstairs.   

I remember just standing in that hallway frozen to the spot as everything that had just happened replayed in my head. I was snapped out of my daydream/shock thing when there was a loud knocking on the front door. It caught me by surprise and I literally jumped ten foot in the air. I pulled myself together, turned around and opened the door.

“Y’alright Pickle” you said walking straight past me into my house without even asking permission!

I closed the door and as I turned round my mum came bounding down the stairs all ready for work. It made me wonder quite how long I had stood frozen beside the front door.

“Hello Mrs Cox” you said politely.

“Hello Oliver” my mum said with a smile on her face.

After that I kind of zoned out. It was kind of creepy how you and my mum seemed like new best friends. You were just standing in my hallway talking to my mum about god knows what, as if you’d known her your whole entire life.

I snapped back to reality when I heard my mum say, “Oh gosh look at the time, I should go” my mum sighed looking down at her watch.

I gulped; I really did not want my mum to leave. I’m not going to deny it, I was petrified. Not of you, obviously. I knew you would never intentionally hurt me. I was just generally petrified about being in a house, on my own, at night without my mum. My mum was like my rock before I met you. Yes, we had a rocky relationship, but she was the only person I truly trusted back them. Without my mum, it felt like my whole world could crumble into pieces.

My mum looked at me with a worried look on her face. “Mum I’ll be fine, just go,” I said, another fake smile making its way onto my face.

“But I haven’t made you dinner” she said starting to panic “Oh my god, I completely forgot!” she ran into the kitchen and came back holding her purse “here’s twenty pound, order yourself and Oliver a pizza or something” she said handing me the money “I love you sweetie, you sure you’ll be okay?” she asked a frown folded onto her face.

“I’ll be fine” I lied.

“Okay, I’ll see you in the morning then,” my mum mumbled as she kissing my head. She handed me her torch, and then she was gone.

It was then just you and me, alone in my cold, dark, powerless house. At that point I was nervous, no scratch that, I was terrified. When my mum use to work the nightshifts back in Australia that was when my dad, you know, and that thought alone made me sick to the gut.

“I don’t want pizza” was the first think you said once my mother had gone.