Forgetting You

Forget Me Not

"Are you okay?" Louise asked. It was too sunny to be a funeral. At one point in time I leaned over to remind him to put his SPF 35 lip balm on, but he was never going to do that again. Grabbing my small sheet, I glided up to the front. I took my sunglasses off and put them under the podium. Not wanting to open my eyes and see that this was real, I unfolded my eulogy and cleared my throat.

"Phillip Michael Lester," I started. Thank God this wasn't an open casket. "was taken from this world too soon," I stopped. Crumpling up the sheet I leaned back and threw it as far away as possible. The crowd watched it fly over their heads and behind them. The crowd turning back to me, I began anew.

"Phillip Michael Lester doesn't deserve a eulogy; he deserves so much more. He deserved the world. He deserved a happy life with his wife and two kids, not this," My voice broke. I hated it. I glanced at his final resting place, hopeful. Maybe The Urge will come true, I thought.

"He deserved so much more than a crap friend who told him to stop eating his cereal, even though I never wanted him to stop. He deserves so much more than being limited to one towel per shower. He deserved more than being told to shut up constantly by his loud and obnoxious flatmate. He deserved..." I paused. I peered over to the piano. The crowd hummed and hawed, but I had to do this for Phil.

Sitting down, I began to remember all the times I had done this so Phil could dance around in my bedroom. The motions came naturally to me. So many times I had played this song. I thought it would never end. He would never meet someone, he would never fall in love, move out, get married, have kids. Phil would never watch his kids grow up, never go to my wedding, never see his best friend mature into fatherhood. He's gone forever.

I got up from the keys. Walking back to the audience, I sat down. The rest of the service was definitely a blur from there on out.

When it was over, his wife, Amanda, came up to thank me. They met in Vegas. Her American accent was odd to me.

"You're welcome. That's not exactly how I though it would go but..." she interrupted me by giving me a hug.  "You know how much he loved you, right? All of his stories started with 'This one time me and Dan...'" her voice trailed off as she let me out of the embrace. I grabbed her shoulders and smiled.  

"He loved you, too." I looked down at his daughter, Daniella, and his son Michael. They would be my children now. Being their godfather, that's my responsibility.

"Thanks again, Dan," she walked away with children in tow. Someone tapped on my shoulder and startled me. I turned around to see Martyn, Phil's brother, and Catherine, Phil's mum. I smiled and leaned in to give both of them a hug.

"I know. It's hard for all of us." I was trying to comfort. I don't do this much. And whenever I did, Phil was always beside me. We pulled away, and they thanked me once more. After we bantered for a bit, I went to find Louise.

"I'm done," I said. "Take me home." We walked towards the exit of the graveyard and never looked back.