Even If You Don't // Calum Hood

Chapter 6: Show Me What Love's All About

"5 Seconds of Summer has now changed their name to Calum Hood!" I announced with an eye roll, "You heard it here first, guys!"

"So, no pressure or anything, Mari," Kenzie said, "But if you mess up your solos, we're gonna kick you out of the band."

"You three can't live without me and you know it," I stated, beginning to hit the pedal under my foot.

The moment the rest of the band joined in with their instruments and 'oh's, the crowd burst into cheers. The boys, however, looked on with skeptical expressions, thinking there was no way that – even though the band was incredibly talented – that we could play a song as difficult as If You Don't Know live and not have a least one mishap.

But if they had learned anything about us throughout the past month on the tour, it was that we loved to prove them wrong.

[Kenzie]

Tonight, we're fading fast, I just wanna make this last
If I could say the things that I wanna say
I'd find a way to make you stay
I'd never let you get away
Catch you in all the games we've played

So go ahead, rip my heart out
Show me what love's all about
Go ahead, rip my heart out
That's what love's all about

[Kenzie, Vanessa, Kaylynn]

I want you to want me this way
And I need you to need me to stay
If you say that you don't feel a thing

If you don't know, let me go
Let me go, let me go, let me go
If you don't know, then just let me go

[Mari]

Let's forget the past, I swear we'll make this last
'Cause I remember the taste of your skin tonight
And the way that you look, you had those eyes
I remember the way it felt inside
And the name of the songs that made you cry

You would scream, we would fight, you would call me crazy
I would laugh, you were mad, but you'd always kiss me
And the shirt that I had that you always borrowed
When I woke, it was gone, there was no tomorrow

[Kenzie, Vanessa, Kaylynn]

I want you to want me this way
And I need you to need me to stay
If you say that you don't feel a thing

If you don't know, let me go
Let me go, let me go, let me go
If you don't know, then just let me go

[Mari]

Go ahead rip my heart out
If you think that's what love's all about
Go ahead rip my heart out
Go ahead rip my heart out

I could feel tears start welling up as my voice cracked, silently reprimanding myself already because I knew that was what everyone would be talking about after the show. I had sung this song in my bedroom and at rehearsals countless times, but for some reason, tonight – in front of thousands of people – had to be the moment it finally broke me.

[All]

Go ahead rip my heart out
If you think that's what love's all about
Go ahead rip my heart out
Go ahead rip my heart out

[Kenzie, Vanessa, Kaylynn]

I want you to want me this way
And I need you to need me to stay
If you say that you don't feel a thing

If you don't know, let me go
Let me go, let me go, let me go

[All]

If you don't know, then just let me go

Calum's POV

The boys and I watched on, our heads tilted in confusion, as the song ended. We obviously noticed the crack in Mari's voice during the bridge, but we just thought it was because her throat was dry. But when she looked down and wiped her face as Kenzie was introducing the next song, we knew it was much more.

But, because she was Mari and she was as strong as anyone else I'd ever met, she pushed through it, continuing with the rest of the show as if nothing had ever happened.

~

Half an hour later, the girls were bouncing offstage. Mari was smiling along with the others, but she was clearly avoiding looking at anybody – and I knew it was because of what happened during If You Don't Know. My band had a few minutes before we went onstage for our own set, so I decided to head over to Mari. She was standing alone at the table where all the headsets were as she unhooked hers from her jeans and I thought it was the perfect opportunity.

"Hey, Mar," I said, just loudly enough for her to hear, "You okay?"

"I'm fine," she replied with a questioning tone, glancing at me before taking her earpiece out and putting the headset on the table.

"So what happened during that cover was just me hearing things?" She quickly shrugged, probably thinking I didn't notice her pause briefly.

"Don't know what you mean," she said, turning to walk away. I grabbed her hand and turned her back around.

"You know exactly what I mean," I said lowly, "Luke said you've been acting weird since Michael did something to annoy you before the show. And we all know you don't get annoyed with him that easily."

"We've been on this tour for what, a month?" she grumbled, "What could you possibly know about me?"

"I know that you're holding something back," I stated matter-of-factly, "I know that something happened to make you break during that song. I don't know what it is, but I'm gonna find out." Mari's jaw tightened slightly and it was clear she was now annoyed with me.

"Good fucking luck," she mumbled, tearing her hand out of mine and walking away.

~

was ending it like this necessary??? lmao no
but ♫ it's my story, i'll do what i want to ♫

anyway that whole "too scared to do live" thing isn't true anymore is it

Title/song used: "If You Don't Know" by 5 Seconds of Summer