Made To Be Broken

One Step Forward, Two Steps Back

“I...wasn't expecting you to come by.” Noble admitted quietly, truthfully. He half expected him and Rebecca to be through – after yesterday. Hoping? No, not hoping. He was just messed up in the head right now, but he wasn't wishing to end things with Rebecca.

Go on...keep telling yourself that. Noble groaned inwardly, growing annoyed by the consistent voice. Shut up already.

“I...overreacted yesterday.” Rebecca said. “I'm sorry. I guess...I'm not sure how to deal with all of this, Noble. I don't know...if you even love me anymore. Or if you even want to get better.” Her tone was soft, gentle. All traces of hostility that had been present yesterday seemed to have vanished – causing Noble more guilt at thinking as he did and...wanting what he shouldn't. “You seem more concerned at...defending Jonah...than you do defending...us.”

Words abandoned him as he stood there, shame seeping through him. This couldn't be easy for her either. There was a part of him that wanted to assure her that they would get through this, that they would be okay and would get married and live happily ever after. But when he tried to summon the words...he again felt Jonah's hand on his neck, his soft lips and warm breath on his ear as he told him he wasn't going anywhere, but that Noble could do what he felt he needed to do – but he would stay right there, ready to catch him when he was pushed too far.

Even now...just the memory of it quickened his pulse, warmed his body. How could he make promises to Rebecca that he knew he couldn't keep? Or perhaps it isn't that you can't keep them – but simply that you won't.

Rebecca sighed when Noble just looked at her. “I came over to see if you still wanted to meet with Jack Hayden.” she murmured. A sense of defeat steeped her words when she added, “You don't have to, Noble. Only you can decide if you want to be helped.” she moved past him to the kitchen doorway. “If you decide to go...the meeting is scheduled for noon.”

Noble stared at the tiled floor. “Why do you hate him?”

“Who?” Rebecca hesitated in the doorway.

Noble turned and looked at her. “Jonah.” he spoke low. “I know it isn't just...because he's gay. Or you would hate me too.”

Tears glossed her eyes. “He...tricked me.” she whispered. “He tricked me into believing...he liked me. I didn't know he was gay.” She licked her lips and stared at her hands. “I was sixteen...in a relationship with someone else. But...he was just a boy. And Jonah...was a man. And so...handsome and...charming. He...” she shook her head. “He swept me off my feet. I didn't even see it coming. I thought...I was in love with him and that...he loved me too.” She swallowed thick. “And by the time I realized I was just a source of entertainment to him...it was too late.” she raised her eyes to Noble's face, tears welling thicker. “I'd already lost the one who truly loved me.”

Noble's mind and heart went numb with a cold chill, his pulse pumping harder.

“I guess that's why I got hostile about him...and you.” she bit her lip, chin trembling. “Because I see him doing the same thing to you, Noble. And I'm scared that...that by the time you come to your senses and realize what's really going on...it's going to be too late for us.” She leaned up and kissed his cheek, whispering softly, “You're a wonderful man, Noble. I don't want him to hurt you the way he hurt me.” Tears seeped down her face. “Please be careful, baby. And don't fall for everything he tells you.” She didn't say anything more as she moved away and walked to the front door.

When he heard the door open, he stepped out into the short hall. “Rebecca.”

She paused and turned slowly. A fresh sheen of tears glistened her eyes. “What, Noble?” she whispered thickly.