Ch. Fifteen

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Ronnie's POV

Its been two weeks since I left the house. I haven't gone to school, or out with Tone since the night Jack broke in. He keeps calling me so I just keep my phone off now. I can't leave Zeke's side anymore. Not even when I sleep...if I sleep. My mom is getting worried about me. She keeps telling me to live my life and we'll take care of it, the problem? Its not just my life anymore. If it were just me I wouldn't care. I can handle it if something happens to me. Not my son though. Not Zeke.

I stay in my room now, people try to come in. Tony...my mom...Vic...even my dad. I can't bring myself to open the door in fear of something happening to Zeke. I hate Jack for this. I managed dealing with the rape and abuse. I managed with the PTSD that followed. I managed to raise a son on my own with only my mother's help. I didn't hate him when he put my life at risk, I hate him for putting our son's life at risk.

I didn't mean what I said. I'm not going through the courts for visitation. There's no point. I can't do that to Jack even though he's done this to us. I can't do that to Zeke. Zeke is my world and I won't have my son hating me for not giving him the chance to know his father. It sucks growing up without one. I'm the prime example of that. Jack doesn't see all the destruction he's brought into our lives. Not just me and Zeke, but my mom too. She doesn't deserve any of this. She doesn't deserve to live in fear because of my son's father.

Staring out my window makes me crave the outdoors. The autumn leaves are starting to fall and the cold air is making my window colder than before. This isn't fair. Zeke should be out at pumpkin patches and getting ready for Halloween. Not sitting inside, not knowing the outdoors. As much as I hate it, I know I need to let him live a little. I'll start off slow, just taking him out to eat. Maybe I can call Tone...no I'm not ready to face him yet. I know who I can ask. I go to grab my phone, hopefully he answers. It rings a few times then he picks up, "hello?"

"Hey Dad..."

I'm sitting inside the little diner with Zeke next to me scribbling on the placemat. I hear gasps and smirk a little. I hear the screams that usually come with his arrival. Zeke looks up and squeals. Walking over Mike kisses the top of my head and moves over to his side of the table.

"Whats up kid? I didn't know that you came out of your room?" He says giving me a disapproving look.

"I'm sorry...I'm just so scared. Every time I turn around I'm scared that I'll see one if them coming for us...for Zeke. I wouldn't be able to forgive myself or Jack if something happened to Zeke." I say feeling the tears escape my eyes. I look down and hoping to hide it from Mike.

"You can't let this control you though Ron, if you do then you and Zeke will never have a normal life. You don't deserve it. You know Tony misses you? He's been like a lost puppy since you stopped answering his calls."

"I don't mean to shut him out...I don't mean to shut anyone out. I just am scared that something will happen. It's like a switch flipped and this instinct to protect Zeke started blazing. I don't know what to do Dad, I know its not fair but I can't let anything happen to Zeke."

"Ronnie, I know I'm not the best father, in fact I'm probably the worse. Please listen to me though, you need to live. You need to be the person you were meant to be, the singer you were meant to be, you can't do that from inside a room. You need to go out, have fun as a teenager, you're a mother and an amazing one, but you need to do stuff for yourself. So on Saturday you are gonna go out, with Tony or someone else, and you're going to have fun and forget about all of this for a couple hours okay?" He looks so determined, how can I say no to that. I just look at the man in front of me. The one who looks so much like me and the little boy next to me.

"I'm sorry Dad...I'm so sorry." I say crying into my hands he gets up and comes over to me, wrapping his arms around me. I wrap my arms around him tight, just like when I was kid.

"No baby I'm sorry, this is all my fault, everything you're going through is my fault." I grip onto the man who left me. Who made me cry all those nights. I've finally come to a realization...I need my Dad. I need my father in my life.

"I wouldn't change it though Dad, I love Zeke too much to wish none of this had ever happened. I can't imagine my life without him." I say into his chest, this causes him to only grip me tighter. I'm eighteen years old and going through all this. What had my life come to?

"How are you a better parent at eighteen then I was." He just grips onto me tighter, as if he is afraid I'll blow away if he lets go. I didn't realize this was affecting him too. I really have been selfish with everyone.

"I'm really sorry Dad," he just chuckles against my head.

"You have nothing to be sorry about Ronnie, none of this is your fault." He finally pulls away a little and looks at me, when I look at him I can't help but laugh, he looks a complete mess. "Alright alright how about we finally eat!"

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