Day and Night

Ch.19 Don't Forget Where You Belong

*Lights off when they should be on.
Even stars in the skies, they're wrong.
Short days when the nights are long
When I think of the things I've done*

                                         -One Direction *Don't Forget Where You Belong*

Chapter 19

Rain poured in rivulets down the car window I had been staring out of for the past hour. It reminded me of tears streaming down someone’s face. The depressing weather matched my mood exactly. Actually I think it matched everyone’s mood exactly.

All three boys, Mads, and I were all headed back home. We had originally planned on staying a few more days, but with everything that happened, well, no one was really in the mood to enjoy themselves. Not one word had been spoken for the entire ride and I was about ready to explode.

After convincing Dace, he and I told Mads about James and what he had done. Actually, Dace told her and I just sat their for moral support, but that’s not important. Mads was just confused at first, not really sure what Dace was talking about or whether she should believe him. Slowly, though, I saw the truth hit her, and it hit her hard. Dace and I tried our best to console her, but she just wanted to be alone. I’m not really sure how long it was until she ended up calling her husband, but when she did we could all hear the emotion-filled words as she called him out on what he had done. It didn’t sound like he tried to deny it.

Long after the call Mads refused to come out of her room. I knew she didn’t want us to see her cry, but it was awful not being able to console her in any way. The next best thing I could do was look after Dace. We sat together in the living room for a long time. We didn’t really say much, both of us focused on the television screen without really watching a thing. I think it was enough for him just not to be alone. I could see how much his mother’s pain haunted him. And how much it made him hate his father all the more. There was nothing I could do to change any of that, so I sat. And when Mads’ sobs could be heard loud and clear through the whole house and Dace turned to me with a look of pain that matched the sound, I held him. Nothing else that had happened really mattered. Nothing about it was romantic in the least. It was just one friend comforting another. At the time it was what he needed and so it’s what I gave him.

Eventually Wesley and Keaton found us, confused about what was going on. And so I explained it to the two of them, so that Dace wouldn’t have to. Keaton was shocked just the way I had been, but Wesley was outraged. I think if his father had walked through the door right then that he would have killed him. Instead, though, he and Keaton joined Dace and I in the living room. I think being together made it easier on everyone. Everyone except for Mads, of course.

By the next day she was able to compose herself enough to leave her room. I actually found her cooking breakfast like on any other day when I woke up. It was obvious that she was trying to fake happiness in order to make up for the night before. She didn’t want any of us to think of her as weak or anything like that, even if we all understood completely what she was going through. So, she tried to pretend that nothing was wrong, but we all could see the pain that she was in.

Finally, I couldn’t take it and I tried to apologize to her for everything. I never even got the words out. She shut me up with a harsh look that I never in my life had seen her give anyone, let alone me. The look made me feel like I was five years old again and had done something very, very wrong. I didn’t even understand why it was I was getting this look until she said, “You knew all along and you didn’t tell me.”

It wasn’t a question and I don’t think she really expected an answer. I opened my mouth to say something, but then closed it shut just as quickly. The accusation in her eyes was enough to stop me in my tracks. The betrayal she felt was obvious. She had treated me like a daughter and I had kept a secret as big as this from her. The only thing I could manage to say was, “I’m sorry."