It's a wonder of madness that coils my soul, striking the broken cords of my heart.
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When I open my eyes the sun is out, but no sunlight drips into the room. The blinds making sure that the warmth and light cannot reach the inside of my cold and grey house.
The house has nothing inside, I made sure of that.
The furniture is long gone, pictures burned, clothing and shoes ripped into pieces. Everything is gone. I wear a grey shirt that fits me like a dress, no shoes placed on my feet. My long black bangs cover my green eyes.
Are they still green?
I'm not sure, I broke the mirror.
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Today it's raining, I like it.
Rain means no sun and no sun means no warmth.
I step out of my cold house and I can feel that nails of fear grasping at my broken cords. It's awful screeching voice whispering in my ear to not leave.
I leave the house.
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I see him today.
I don't think he recognizes me. I don't recognize myself.
"Cory, don't run off like that." His voice sounds deeper, but I can feel something in me stir, a feeling of peace.
The little boy Cory looks like him, with pale blond hair and pale skin. But this boy has green eyes.
"Sorry papa."
He looks at me for a moment, something passes his grey eyes.
I look down, my green eyes following the green path that decorates the side walk. I hear them leave and I feel a smile on my lips.
I can see the color, even when the voice of fear screams at me in the silence of my mind.
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I sit in the dark that blankets me. It's hard to find out which is worse; the dark that covers my heart or the darkness that sweeps the outside.
Tonight I sit in the paths of London. The city bursting with noise, but all I hear are the murmurs of nothing.
It's cold and rainy, my grey shirt soaking with the dripless of water that falls from the sky. Today, the world looks grey. I am letting the monster inside me domain my being, it feels better when I let go and blind myself into the hidden world that lays secrets beyond my mind.
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I dream again.
He's here, with his skinny wrist and long limbs.
"We'll be late if you don't hurry and you know how Molly gets when we're late." He's fixing my tie and I can feel myself smiling.
"I've been ready for the past hour. It's you whose been keeping me from leaving." He glares at me and I laugh with amusement lacing my eyes.
He's gorgeous today.
"Come on then Potter, we mustn't keep them up."
His hand feels warm against my cold palm.
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Fear is winning the battle.
I'm falling into a hole of darkness and I'm afraid I won't be able to reach out any longer.
And then I hear his voice.
"I hate the cold."
It's enough for me to keep fighting against this grey darkness that does not allow me to see.
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I've been searching for that thing that will unlock me from this prison that I live in.
Have been in the searing of coldness, in the blankness of white walls, the screams that resound in my quiet mind. My dreams that fear has tried to control. I've been looking in the dark cave inside my soul, in the grey eyes of my love.
And all along the answer was in my broken strings, in the harsh beat of my heart, in my dreams of color.
It was love, merciless love.
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Do you want to know a secret, I'm the little voice that whispers in your ear Harry Potter, the monster of fear that claws at your chest at night. I'm the one who feeds your mind the nightmares that haunt you.
Shhh, it's a secret Harry.
I'll come back, the fear never leaves.
It's the price you must pay for the love you hold for Draco and your son Cory.
Love, merciless love.
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As my story came to an end I realized that I was the villain all along.
END
Merciless Love
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