Let Go (A Hikaru Hitachiin Short Story)

Let Go 2

It was two weeks after their wedding, and I was in the middle of a healing process. Kaoru told me to calm down and not rush it, but I couldn't take it any longer. Haruhi...I loved her, still. I didn't think it was humanly possible for someone to get over love so fast.

Kaoru thought otherwise. He knew I was hurting. He knew how I felt. And he was super tough on me.

"Hikaru, get out of bed. You're not a teenage girl. I hate seeing you like this, and I don't know what else I can do for you." Kaoru left several voice messages a day, and visited a lot, too, but I never really said anything to him. I needed time to myself.

But then it hit me.

I was a teenage girl.

The depression and lack of physical activity... The anger and sadness... The ice cream. I had to stop this right away. No more feelings. I had to take this like a man, no matter how hard that would be.

I called Tamaki again, this time forcing myself to leave a "happier" message when he didn't pick up. Ugh. How annoying. I visited Kaoru and spilled out all my problems like old times, not leaving out a detail. He smiled at me proudly, and told me it was all going to work out. Sure it will. Not. Then, I decided to do the most painful thing that came to mind. Leave my neighborhood and go outside.

It wasn't that hard, but everywhere I looked I saw pictures and memories of her. This might clear my head. 

First, I needed a shower. I hadn't taken one since the wedding night. I flicked on the lights of the bathroom and sighed. 

The water was hot against my back. Every inch of myself that I washed felt almost new. Like a fresh beginning, maybe. Or a clean slate. I even smiled to myself a few times. 

But feeling happy made me remember how I felt when I used to be around her. 

A sick feeling started to make my stomach churn when I thought about it. But then I had a really bad idea. A really good, bad idea. 

I pictured Haruhi and Tamaki together, acting all couple-y. She would be playing with his hair, with her head resting against his chest. Then, I made it so it was me sitting with her, and she was playing with my hair and resting against me. It felt good for about two minutes. But then the "bad" part of the idea came into play. I would never be with her.

Maybe there's someone else out there for you, I thought. But then I brushed it aside and "humphed" to myself. No. How stupid can you get?

After washing my hair so well that I thought my scalp would start to bleed, I switched off the faucet and shakily stepped out of the shower. As well as it had made me feel, my eyes still felt dead in their sockets. I seriously needed to get out more.

I slipped on a plaid blue and white shirt with jeans, and then admired myself in the wall mirror. I had never tried to look good in a while. It sure was exhausting. 

HEY, ARE YOU GOING OUT TODAY?

Kaoru texted me.

YEAH, WHY?

:) THAT'S GOOD. CAN YOU PICK ME UP SOME BREAD?

BREAD?

YEAH. WE'RE OUT OF BREAD.

YEAH SURE.

THANK YOU

NO PROBLEM 

I tossed my phone down on my bed and combed my hair into it's normal style. Well, now I had somewhere to go. The small bakery in the center of town made the best bread, so I'd go there and then walk around for a while.

I nodded to myself, confirming my plan. Foolproof.

Or so I thought.

********

The sun was giving me a headache, even though it was covered by a thin layer of clouds. The weather had predicted heavy rain later on in the day, so I had to try and get home before then. My car was doing well, and it felt refreshing to drive again after two weeks without setting foot outside of my house.

The bakery was a cute white building, with red designs around some corners that resembled icing on a cake. The smell on the inside was amazing, too.

"Can I help you?" 

A voice cut through my thoughts. I looked up at the person working the counter. She was a tiny girl with light brown hair and dark, almost black eyes. Her hair came down to right below her chest, and was curled at the very end. 

"Uh, yeah... Megumi." I said, reading her nametag. "I just want some bread." 

She crossed her arms and nodded, calling back to the chef my request. A few minutes later, while I was waiting on a bench, she walked up to me again.

"Bad news, we're out of bread." She said in a monotone voice. I gave her the, "are you kidding me?" expression and sat up straight.

"It took you ten minutes to figure that out?" I snapped, not caring if I seemed rude. She crossed her arms again and leaned closer to me.

"Yeah, actually. We normally get more comlex orders than just 'bread'." She shot back. I stood up to my full height and she did the same. I looked down at her.

"How old are you, anyway? Like twelve?" I laughed a little, amusing myself. She flushed and jumped back a few steps. 

"No! I'm sixteen!" She yelped, clenching her fists. I didn't even try to hide my smirk.

"I'm eighteen." I said, "And you're really short for sixteen."

She looked like she was about to start yelling, but then she calmed down a little and whipped around.

"You get on my nerves." Megumi mumbled. 

"That makes two of us," I whispered, but she heard me. 

"You know, this bakery is supposed to be for couples. We don't have enough room for a lonley guy like you." She hissed. That struck a nerve.

A very sensitive nerve.

After what seemed like forever, I let out a small sigh and looked out the window. It started to rain a little. Perfect, now everything set the mood. I had managed to go a while without Haruhi taking up my mind, and this girl had shoved her right back in. Was the world just... against me or something?

"Hey," Her gaze softened a little when she saw how much her words stung. I held up a hand to silence her.

"Let it be," I choked on the words. "It's not like I'm not used to it." 

She covered her mouth with a hand, feeling awful. I tossed some money on the bench and flipped my hood over my head before walking out of the place. I didn't look back once.

********

I feel bad for making Hikaru so sad... Well, now you've all met Megumi. 

Thank you for reading!