Boats & Birds (Dazai X Reader)

Because Maybe, You're Gonna Be The One That Saves Me

You and Dazai walked out of the agency and started walking down the street. The sun was coming down and the sky was so beautiful, that your eyes were locked on it since you were outside. The wind was cold a little bit, but because of the heat, which came from Dazai you weren't cold. Yes, he was still hugging you by your shoulders with one hand.

"I'll lead you home, if you don't mind." He said after a long time of a peaceful silence

"You don't have to do it. I'm sure, you have other things to do. I don't want you to waste your time on me." You answered "And I'm not so helpless. I know where my home is and I don't have any problems with walking."

"First, I'm not wasting my time. I may be busy, but I'll always have time for you."He began "Second, I don't think, that you are helpless at all. I perfectly understand, that you won't get lost and you know how to walk, but I also know, that Port Mafia is waiting for a chance to capture you and make you their weapon."

"I still don't really understand why are you helping me." You told him

"Why is it so hard for you to believe, that there are kind people, who can help others just because they think it's right?" Dazai asked

"Because such people are not real." You answered "If you are not interesting enough, not pretty enough, not talented enough or they think,that you are just worthless, then one one will help you!"

You started getting a bit emotional. This theme was special for you. You could never stay calm, when someone brought this question up. You've been left alone so many times in your life. You've cried and cried for help, you were slowly and painfully dying. Faith in better life was dying too. You needed help so much, but you never received it. You were always wandering alone in the darkness. Just like a stray dog.

"People only help you, if they can gain something from you in return. If you are not that kind of people, who society likes, then you are doomed to end up alone!" You exclaimed

"I understand what you are talking about." Dazai said

You looked at him surprised. How could someone like Dazai understand such feelings? You thought, that his life had to be happy and easy. He was such a good man. It was hard to resist his charms. Seems like you were wrong. Dazai and his story wasn't so simple as you thought.

"Why?" You asked "Why do you understand me? How can you understand me?"

"See these bandages?" Dazai asked

You nodded.

"My life is not so perfect and easy, as people may think." He said "This is why my dream is to commit a double suicide with a beautiful woman."

These words crushed on you like a huge wave

You've though about suicide too. You know what should a human feel to become ready for it. You just couldn't believe, that Dazai felt the same. He always looked so happy. Well, it's a mistake then. He only wanted everybody to think so. He was still a mystery to you, like a closed book. Maybe, in that moment, little by little the book started to open

"I've thought about suicide too." You confessed "I haven't done it yet only because of my curiosity. I'm curious, what will happen if I stay? This is the only reason, why I'm still alive."

"We're quite alike,don't you think so?" Dazai smiled sadly "That makes sad. You shouldn't feel like this."

"Neither should you." You said and also smiled

What a coincidence! Two suicidal people have met each other! What if they are going to be the ones, who will save each other? Life is strange,huh?

"I think we should go on a date." Dazai said

"What did you just said?!" You asked him nervously

"There is a very beautiful park in the city center. " Dazai continued "There are a lot of couples and I understand, why they like this place so much. We can go for a walk there and then we can go to a restaurant or somewhere else. What do you think?"

He looked you in the eyes. Your heart started beating so fast as if it was going to jump out of your chest. You've never been on a date before. You had no idea ,what you had to dress or say. Yeah, you've seen dates in the movies, but it's different. You were so nervous and anxious and at the same time you've always wanted it from the bottom of your heart. You've been lonely all your life. Now, it was time to change it.

"I-I would be happy to go with you on d-date,Dazai!" You finally answered

"Cool!" He exclaimed happily "Are you free this weekend?"

"Yes." You answered

"How about I'll swing by your house at about 4 p.m.?" He asked

"Alright." You replied

"Okay!" He exclaimed

Talking with Dazai, you haven't noticed how you reached your home. Now, you were even upset, that your walk was over because that meant, that you and to say goodbye to Dazai.

Dazai and you walked to your house

"Well, I gotta go now." He said "See you tomorrow?"

"Yeah, see you tomorrow." You answered and smiled softly at him

After that, Dazai's action surprised you. He took your hand, brought it close to his mouth and kissed! You remembered the feeling of his lips on your skin very well and you often thought about this moment. When Dazai pulled away, he smiled at you and left.

By the way, when he was walking away, you could see, that he was still smiling.