Once upon a time, I found a chamber to store all my secrets. It started with a little box containing all my little white lies as a child. Years go by and this box became unfit for all of the things I've done: the time I learned how to curse, the time I wished for bad things to happen to the people I hate, the time I first had a boyfriend. This box became more and more difficult to lock, my excuses became more and more stupid.
One night, I found another box. It was overflowing though it was much larger than mine. Someone forgot to lock it. Out of curiosity, I took a peek. I tell you, it was the ugliest looking box with the ugliest looking contents. But amidst the filthy, disgusting contents, something - no, someone captured my eyes.
It was a girl, once a fetus, then a baby. Then a toddler. Then a growing child. Such a happy looking girl!
I look farther into the box. I see fragments of arguments. I see a civil wedding. I see a college couple.
I close the box. I knew where this was going. I need not be reminded of this again.
I see a smaller box, old and fraying. It was unlocked. I see another college couple with the same male but a different female. I see the guy dropping coin after coin in the slit on the payphone. The guy was in the province. The girl was in the city. I see the girl arguing with the guy after seeing him with another girl.
I close the box. Again, I knew where this was going.
I felt uneasy discovering all of these old boxes. It made my stomach churn. I felt myself relax as I discover another box. This time, it looked new and polished. It was identifiably larger in size. The key was just lying next to it. Being the curious little kid I am, I opened it. The sense of relief I had instantly vanished.
I was definitely wrong.
I see the first college couple arguing. They look older, nearing their 40's. I look farther in, I see the female crying. I look farther, I see a blurred picture. It was the male with the silhouette of the second female. I wasn't sure whether to believe it or not. It was blurred. It was a recent photo, but it was blurred.
I locked up every box I've opened, including mine. It didn't make me feel like a happy little girl anymore.
