The Curious Exploits Of A Boy Named Uriel

Alternative Classroom: Part 3

As time raged on, several important things happened. The movie Grown Ups came out, and we got a new student. A lanky, insane african american chick, we'll call her sally.
Sally always had a temper, and Jeff and I always loved to play around with it. One day, she was particularly mad after Jeff and I were messing around with her (she was excruciatingly annoyed by our shennanigans, so honestly, all it took to do this was to be our normal selves to anybody, at any part of the day) and I had remembered watching Chris Rock throw a tantrum on Grown Ups, after which his mother in law says "It's his time of the month again"
I was 12. In my defense, I had no idea what that observation really meant. All that I knew was that "Time of the month" was associated with seemingly extreme tantrums and hilarious fits of anger and exasperation. So, I decided to make an observation of my own. I yelled "It must be her time of the month again" as loud as I could. She dropped what she was doing and started chasing me with scissors. The crazy chick was literally trying to kill me with these long ass scissors the teacher let her use to cut out a drawing, and so our teacher had to catch her and restrain her. She got stuck in the quiet room, which is basically a padded room that even a fully equipped swat team may have trouble getting into without the key, if they found it locked. She started banging on the shatter-proof window yelling all kinds of threats and obscenities at Jeff and I, me, huddled in the corner almost pissing myself from how close I could've been to death, and Jeff balled up on the floor laughing uncontrollably. I talked to the teacher that we had then just last week about that day, and he STILL doesn't believe I didn't know what "It must be that time of the month again" really meant.