It all started with Freshers.....

Part eight - Twelve weeks

I felt Stephen's hand on my back rubbing it gently as I retched. Tears were streaming. I forced myself to stop long enough to make it to the bathroom. I tried to shake him off but I knew he wouldn't leave me alone. My throat burned as I brought up more, it was mainly liquid but that made it much worse. It was nasty. It smelt like something had died. It was the worst experience I'd ever had of vomiting. I definitely was not a well girl.

"I'm okay, please, just give me a minute," I said as knelt in front of the toilet, hugging it in a fashion that had become all too familiar.

Stephen hovered and instead of obliging to my request he stayed rubbing my back.

"Honestly please, go back to bed," I told him. I preferred to be alone when I was vomiting. To be honest I hated being that vulnerable in front of someone.

Stephen sighed audibly. I felt like reaching round and pushing him out the door into my lovely puddle of vomit on the floor.

"I want to help," he said feebly.

"Honestly, I'm getting anxious with you here. Please lad, back to bed." My voice was firm. All I wanted to do was lie down on the cold tiles and let myself feel pathetic for a long minute.

Stephen dithered and then left. The door was left open a crack but I was just about able to kick it closed. The bathroom wasn't that big.

I heaved for a second. Then I was full on vomiting. I was definitely not a well girl. Stephen was back in the bathroom in seconds trying to comfort me whilst I threw up. Why didn't he get that I wanted to be alone? That I needed privacy?

"Stephen, I told you. Leave me be," I almost growled.

"Ciara, let me help. Please."

"Stephen please. I just need to be alone for this. Please."

"But don't you.."

"I told you to go now go. Fuck off!" I snapped. I wasn't feeling great, he was muscling in on the time I preferred to be alone. It was making me feel suffocated.

He nodded but said nothing. He went off and I could hear him sighing as he wiped up my earlier mess. I wasn't properly sick again but I brought up horrible phlegm. It was absolutely rotten.

Once I felt a little better I brushed my teeth. Then I pattered back into the bedroom in my bare feet. I climbed back into the bed beside Stephen and Cathy. I snuggled down beneath the sheets and reclined comfortably.

"I'm sorry if I was rude but I don't like feeling crowded when I'm not well," I told him gently. I knew an apology was necessary and I'd been a little short with him earlier. It wasn't his fault. He thought he was helping.

Stephen nodded. "It's alright baby. I just wanted you to know that I was there for you."

"I know you're there for me lad. You're there when I need you most and that's what matters," I said to him before I leaned in. He closed the distance. His hand cupped my cheek and pressed a chaste kiss to my lips. I barely had time to kiss him back.

It was strange actually. We fell into an easy relationship. He was soon staying at mines over the weekend and I was staying up at his mid week because it was closer to work. I'd decided to stay at tech and it was tough in so many ways. I was out on placement three days a week, thankfully in paid employment in a nursery. I did love it but writing assignments ate up my weekend and my night times.

My twelve week scan was on the 5th of December. It was terrifying to admit I was already twelve weeks in.

Stephen held my hand as we watched nervously as the midwife ran the Doppler over my stomach. He raised my hand to his lips and kissed me softly, slowly. I smiled at him. Knowing he was there was enough. For a second the midwife said nothing then slowly she smiled.

"Everything's progressing as it should be," she said with a grin, "Looks healthy. You seem in great health."

Two years ran down my cheeks as I looked at the picture of my baby. The dark outline. Curled up safely inside me.

"Look at that Ciara," Stephen breathed, "Looks perfect. You're doing great." My eyes flicked towards him. His eyes were shining. They widened as he looked at the screen.

I tore my eyes from the screen to look at him properly. He was grinning ear to ear. He looked ecstatic.

When he looked at me again my heart practically grew in size. I could feel it in my chest. He rested his forehead against mines.

"That's our baby. Our baby," he murmured.

"Our baby," I repeated.

Stephen pressed his lips against mines so lightly I was barely sure I felt it but he did. For a long second I was captivated by him.

When I brought my eyes back to the screen I couldn't stop smiling. It was real. It was exciting. Bubs was going to be my whole life.

The gentle thump thump of the baby's heartbeat filled my ears and I breathed more comfortably. It ran a little faster than mines but that was to be expected.

"It's fast," Stephen said with a note of panic, "Is everything okay."

"Yes, totally fine. It's supposed to be a little faster," the midwife soothed.

Stephen sighed in relief and squeezed my hand tightly. He'd been anxious about this, more so than I had been. I felt reassured.... Everything was okay. It would all be fine. It almost felt like a sign that this would all work out. This crazy mess that was my life might eventually settle down.