《Note》: Sad stuff ahead
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~~♡~~
A crashing sound echoes in your room as tiny shards of glass litter the stained floor. You were washing the dishes when a plate slipped (into the diamond life lmao) out of your hands. The dish soap must have been really effectively greasy.
"Ouch!" You let out an ugly yelp. A fragment of the broken dish has cut one of your fingers when you were trying to pick up the broken pieces. Blood oozes out uncontrollably and you quietly whimper. Fortunately, the cut is not too deep.
You aren't really the type of a "superstitious" person but looking at the broken glass makes you think this is a bad omen. Like something woeful is bound to happen. Your heart beat races versus your anxiety.
You try to shrug it off. Today, you are meeting your boyfriend, Jihoon. You need not be worried. Negative vibes has no place for this day.
You were getting ready for your date with Jihoon when the door bell rang. You immediately opened the door and got quite surprised to see Jihoon strangely standing in front of you. He knew the door lock password so it left you wondering.
"Oppa!" You excitedly squealed as you casually snake your arms on his neck to peck his lips
You expected him to respond but he did not. You frown in disappointment.
You've noticed he's grown distant the past few weeks. He comes home very late and goes out of the house early.
You have not seen each other for days now because he's gotten quite busy with work. You barely even contact each other. You just missed him so much.
"Y/N..." he lets out a deep sigh. "I have something to tell you."
His words were cold and sharp. And you were beginning to get anxious. He does not seem the usual fluffy Jihoon he is. He seems completely like a different person-- a stranger. Like you don't know him at all.
"What is it?" You asked, voice gradually shaking
"You know I've been composing songs, right? You know how much weight I'm carrying over my shoulders for the group."
Nervous, having hints where this is headed, you still managed to nod your head in agreement.
"It's been hard on me, Y/N. My company and fans expect a lot. I don't know what to do if ever I disappoint them, especially my members."
You didn't know he felt that way. You feel bad. If only you can do something to help alleviate his burden.
You put your hand on his cheek trying to make him feel better, "No. You can do it, Jihoon. Just believe in yourself and everything's going to be fine. You have me, I believe in you--"
"That's it! You have so much trust in me that really I don't know what to do if I disappoint you too." Before you could even finish your sentence, he cutted you off.
"I don't even have enough time for you-- for us. I barely show up on our dates because of my schedule. You'll only keep getting hurt with me Y/N." He wiped a stray tear on his face. You haven't even noticed he was crying and it breaks your heart.
Yes, it's true you barely see each other because of his schedule. It's true he's slowly losing time for you. But you don't mind. Not at all. His career is something important you cannot deprive him off.
"I don't mind constantly feeling pain. I can endure it... I endure it because I like it. Pain is nothing when I'm with you." You choke on your words as tears stain your face
You looked at him in the eyes but he sets his gaze on the floor avoiding eye contact. His breath hitches and so are yours. You seriously don't like where this is going.
"I'm feeling really stressed because of too many factors. I believe you are one of them Y/N."
"What have I done wrong? I'll try to change it."
You hug him, "Just... just don't leave me Jihoon. I love you."
"I love you too but..." He sighs loudly and shuts his eyes. "I need to fix myself first."
"We can fix it together. I'll help. Just... Jihoon please."
Tears streamed down your cheeks. You hugged him tighter but he pulled away.
With his glassy eyes he trailed, "I think it's better to end this. Let's break up."
"Don't send me away. Don't do that" You pleaded sounding more like a broken croak.
"If you send me away, you'll cry forever."
"I'm sorry." He shook his head but had not withdrawn his words.
He left almost instantly and it was you who was crying.
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Idk how to express emotions thru words smh. This is a failed attempt angst.
