MY SELF HARM STORY/DIARY

TALK IT OUT

People always say that they can't help unless they get told what's going on. Well I think that that's just their curiosity. You can't always help everyone with all of their problems. At least not all of the time. Yes, talking does sometimes help, and sometimes you don't even need a reply. Maybe a hug is better than a solution? Sometimes.

I told one of my friends the other day about all of this and he didn't even seem agitated by this. He just asked me what I was overthinking. He wasn't bothered (by being not bothered I don't mean that he doesn't care, just that he wasn't flustered by it). I am planning on telling one of my other friends soon. She's really important to me and I just want her to know. I feel like every time I see her I'm just lying to her when she's completely honest with me: or at least I think she is.

I don't see the point in talking anymore. People always say things like:

"You'll get through this"

"You're strong"

"You can handle it"

But if I didn't get through it or couldn't handle it then that would mean that I'm dead.

The only other option than to get through it is to kill myself. And even that isn't an option because I'm too much of a coward. I might think about it all of the time but I know that I'll never actually attempt it.

I'll still be here in a few years; still struggling in silence. Just hopefully It will have really gotten better.

I will always be a self harmer. I will always get urges. I just might not actually hurt myself. I might be able to cope easier and better with it all.