Hermione Granger and the Lost Love

A Night To Remember

The night of the Yule Ball started off spectacular. I had always been envied for my grades but never for how I looked. I'm not saying that looks are important, but I'd be lying if I said it didn't feel good seeing everyone who's ever mocked me star in jealousy. The best part was seeing Ron's face when he saw me with Viktor. Malfoy on the other hand I paid no attention to. I thought at one point I saw him starring at me as well, but I didn't care.

Later that night I got into a huge screaming fight with Ron that everyone witnessed. It was humiliating. The fact that he could be so stupid and not see how I felt about him was infuriating. I had no where to go, I  couldn't go back to the Gryffindor common room, I had already started crying so I couldn't go back to the Ball.

I wondered the corridors for who knows how long. Eventually I found myself sitting on some bench next to a big statue. I sat there in silence until I was brought back to reality when I heard someone say my name. I couldn't make out who it was because my eyes were still blurry with tears.

He said it again "Hermione? Whats wrong?"

Straightening up and wiping my tears away, I realized it was Malfoy. When I continued to stare confusingly at him he said more urgently "Hermione, please I know you told me to never speak to you again but please just tell me you are alright."

"You called me Hermione." He sat down next to me and gave me one of his rare genuine smiles.

"That I did."

"Why?"

 "I really don't quite know... Are you okay?" His tone became more serious. 

I  was so confused, why was he being so kind to me? Why can't he make up his mind. "I will be.." 

"What happened?" 

Even though all I wanted to do was talk to him I couldn't. He had been so cruel to me, and just because he is being nice now doesn't mean he won't revert right back to his usual self. I have to stand my ground, I won't let him walk all over me. "You've made it pretty clear you do not want to discus this topic."

At this point we were both facing each other on the step. "No I can discus it now, we can talk about anything as long as you are talking to me. I'm so sorry Hermione I don't know what came over me before, I can't tell you how sorry I am."

It did seem like he meant it but I can't just give in no matter how empathetic he seems. "I can't just forgive you every time you loose your temper Malfoy."

His eyes were pleading with me to forgive him. "I know, please. I have issues, serious issues, I get into fits of rage so bad sometimes I'll forget what I said"

I suddenly get very angry and remember why I was mad at him in the first place. "Do you remember what you said?"

With a deep breath he finally answered, "Yes.."

"Then you understand why I can't just forgive and welcome you back with open arms."

"I do but I still want you to try, please." I really did want to forgive him, I'd be lying if I said I didn't miss him. I'd say we were almost as close as Harry and I if not, more. He listened to me in a way nobody ever had before. He wouldn't get bored when I'd start talking about ancient runes. I've never had a connection like this with someone before. But I still couldn't let go of what happened between us. There were just so many unanswered questions.

A brilliant thought came to mind. "I'll consider forgiving you but only if you tell me what made you so angry."

He looked down, finding a sudden interest in the floor and started playing with his hands.

Quietly he answered "Really?" He still looked hesitant, but I had to know the truth. I had to understand what could have possibly made him so angry.

"Yes really. If you want any chance of me forgiving you, you have to tell me."

There was a long pause and then with a sigh he began. "Okay fine....its because..I.." He seemed to be mumbling something, but I understand in the slightest bit what he was saying.

"You what? Repeat that a little louder and in english please."

He cleared his throat and repeated "Because I wanted to ask you to the dance..as friends of course, I guess I got jealous." I am not going to lie, that was quite a shock. I didn't have the slightest clue in how to respond.

"I don't understand, if you just wanted to go as friends then why are you be jealous?" He was still looking at the floor, looking as uncomfortable as ever when he responded.

"I know it sounds weird but I just hate how our friendship has to be a secret. Sometimes I just wish I could sit next to you and eat lunch in the great hall and not care what people think."

A wave of relief rushes over me, I was really worried he was going to say he likes me or something. "Well I'm sorry you feel that way but that is just how things are, we can't risk it. We would both be completely exiled from our houses." When he didn't answer I continued, "Why didn't you just tell me this in the first place?"

"I was worried....you would get scared, you know, think to much into it, and I didn't want to risk telling you if that meant ruining our friendship, which I ended up doing anyway.."

"Malfoy, something I learned a long time ago is that it's always best to tell the truth." He finally looked up and made brief eye contact with me.

"You're right....Are you sure you don't want to talk about what happened tonight?"

"Oh alright ... Well I just have always had a crush on ron and he just gives very mixed signals. First he accuses me of lying about someone asking me and then he wants to go with me? How am I suppose to interpret that? Was he jealous or was he genuinely surprised someone would ever ask me. And now he's acting like a complete child, saying that Viktor only asked me to the ball to give him information about Harry. Does he not realize how hurtful that is? I'm not one to care about looks, but I'd be lying if I said it didn't feel great to be more than just a girl with brains for once."

Malfoy cracked a smile and quietly spoke, "You are absolutely mental if you actually think no one thinks you're pretty. I've always thought you were and as you got older more and more people have been thinking the same thing."

I couldn't believe what I had just heard. I could feel my face getting as red as Parvati's dress robes. "Malfoy, that's the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me"

His mood seemed to perk up a bit. "Don't mention it. And look I personally don't understand what you see in that Weasel, sorry! But seriously Granger he'd have to be stupid to not want you. And even more idiotic than I'd ever imagined if he thinks you'd ever betray Potter like that."

That comment on Ron was really rude but I'll let it slide for tonight, although I do give him a warning look to not continue to make fun of my friends. I didn't know what to say so we sat in silence for a few moments, until he broke the silence.

"Look Granger, I'm sorry Weasley ruined your night. I'm even more sorry that I treated you so poorly. But now it is my job to salvage what is left of the night." He stood up, facing me and took his wand out of his pocket. He quietly spoke a spell that I've never heard of.

"What on earth are you doing?" But then out of nowhere beautiful music began to crescendo.

Holding his hand out to me, he asked "What do you say Granger? One last dance? With someone that knows how to pronounce your name."

"You heard that?" Laughing in unison, I accepted his hand and we began to dance. It was alarming how close he was to me, but at the same time comforting. We danced for I couldn't tell you how long. Then he walked me back to the Gryffindor tower in silence, departed, leaving me perplexed and dazzled as ever.