Forever | | Jian

5. Forever

Kian's POV

Week 1

It's been a week since Jc's been gone and a week since blood resurfaced in my life. My parents have been arguing for the past few days and every time I come back I notice mom with freshly new bruises all over her body. She tries to hide them but fails. She tries to come up with excuses but I'm not as gullible as she thinks I am. 

Jc hasn't even tried to contact me, he just moved on that easily. He left all the problems behind, ran away like a coward. Like a vampire, that sees the sun as a threat. He betrayed me...I...I loved him. We knew each other for so long, yet he threw all those memories like a worthless piece of trash. He left me there, longing for him to come back. He betrayed my trust, he left me in the lion's grip. He abandoned me in this mess. He expects me to stand up and keep walking. But I'm tired. I feel so pathetic, knowing that it was my fault that all of this happened.

I can't seem to admit it...it's so hard knowing that they died because of me. I just can't handle it. The guilt grips my heart every now and then during the night, making me lose my breath for a small second. Making me whisper his name, the one who left me because they knew how worthless I was.

But it's okay, I've met a friend. A friend that keeps me company in the lonely nights. We sit in the bathroom together, endless nights, just talking. His name is Mr. Razor. He loves to kiss my pale, cold skin when everyone sleeps. He loves to comfort me when I feel like shit. When no one hears my cries. He makes me cry, but the satisfying cries. The cries I need to let out. He makes me feel numb, used to his love. He went on a little vacation a few years ago but finally came back.

He presented me to his other friend. Mrs. Mirror. The one that can look at me and tell me the truth. The one that doesn't deny what I saw for she has no words. The one admiring my bony chest and kiss-covered arm that Mr. Razor did. We work together to keep me going. All three of us love to hang out all the time. Mr. Razor kisses my skin as Mrs. Mirror admires the view. Counting every tear my skin lets out on the cold, white-tiled bathroom floor. This friendship couldn't be any better.

Week 2

I've lost contact with the outside world. Sometimes I forget my name, giving me a few seconds before I remember it. Mr. Razor's love is keeping me alive. His kisses make me liven up. All day long I lie in the corner of my bedroom. Where darkness hides. I hear screams downstairs sometimes. Cries and yells for help. They must be having fun. I sometimes doze off and wake up when sudden bottles break, ringing through the whole house.

The only place I know of is my bedroom, bathroom and sometimes the kitchen. I have a new look, it consists of a dark shade of black under my eyes and a couple of love bites at different places of my body made my the one and only Mr. Razor. Mrs. Mirror still doesn't like the way I look, she says I'm too fat and points at the bathroom. Of course, she knows what's best for me so I obey her orders.

Week 3

I'm seeing the world in a different way. Everything seems unclear, I can barely move at all. But I'm doing this for Mrs. Mirror. She keeps telling me that I'm making progress, that I'm becoming beautiful. That my inner beauty is now popping out. I feel proud of myself. Mr. Razor is a very adventurous person. He moved from my arms to my legs. His kisses help me through this misery. We talk all day, filling the silence that floats throughout the whole house. I hear cries everywhere. I hear doors banging and engines starting. It's been a while since I last saw the sunlight, it's been a while since I've been to school. A while since I've heard from Jc.

Week 4 

I dwell in darkness now. All I see is a blur. My eyes are slowly taking a little pause. I haven't heard another human voice since a long time ago but at least I've got company. My room is a mess, but it doesn't seem so faze me. The lights in my bathroom have darkened. Making it easier for me not to have to squint whenever I make a quick visit to Mrs. Mirror.

Week 5

I'm barely breathing...I can't feel my body anymore....I lay next to my phone in case Jc texts or calls me. I've been waiting for so long that I lost track of time. My time is certainly messed up which causes me to sleep when I see a bit of light in the crack between two of my curtains and wake up when Twilight takes control. I barely put anything in my mouth, I'm too weak to move. I can barely open eyes. My skin cries all the time, dirtying my former white sheets as the red liquid soaks into the purity.

Week 6

I don't feel alive...I can barely think straight...J hasn't called...but I'm still waiting...I'm not giving up..not yet... I have to keep on fighting. He made me like this....my whole body hurts...but I'm used to it...Mr. Razor barely talks to me anymore...Mrs. Mirror has died on the bathroom floor when I tried to walk and accidentally knocked her down shattering her into pieces. I don't know what life is anymore. The house is extremely calm and it helps me find peace. My frail and pale body is lying on the carpeted floor of my bedroom. I'm about to lose it...I can't.

Week 7

I'm saying goodbye, I waited he never called, never texted. And I'm here lying half dead on my bedroom floor. My body is covered with kisses Mr. Razor made before he left. Mrs. Mirror left and took the little bit of pride I had left. I feel worthless and unneeded. No one even wonders why I haven't been to school. Nobody cares. The people I loved the most left me. All I see is black...nothing more. Food...nonexistent to my body...weak...that's what I am. In pain, that's what I am. Broken that's what I am. Dead....that what I----

Narrator: He doesn't finish his last sentence before his last breath escapes his frail body. Leaving it dead, motionless...there..on the bedroom floor...where so many things happened. He knew that he had fallen in love with someone who had scarred him...forever.

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This honestly made me cry 😭