the ending

5

...the salt in the air

stung my nose

clogged my throat

the crash of the waves

startled me

you grabbed my hand

our fingers threaded together

tight

we walked along the shore

with you closest to the water

i was content with the cool sand underneath my feet

you were talking

i was feeling

the sun on my cheeks

my neck

shoulder and arms

down to my thighs and legs

i reveled in it

there was something about seeing

dark skin glisten in the sun

shining as bright as i wanted to feel

you glanced at me

told me

that there was no shade more beautiful

i couldn't control my smile

you were talking

i was feeling

a breeze on the back of my neck

through the tight coils in my hair

you were talking

i was feeling

i was hearing

seagulls in the distance

the crashing of the waves

a couple kids screaming

you were talking

i was feeling

i was hearing

i was watching

the way the waves receded

the tiny sandcastles

the way my footprints were left in the sand before being washed away

you were talking

i was feeling

i was hearing

i was watching

everything but you

we stopped walking

and i grabbed the nearest stick

made you sit

as i wrote out your name

the scrape of the sand

made the hairs on the back of my neck stand

i didn't let that stop me

i continued your name

pretending every scrape of that stick

was a touch from you

it made the feeling that much better

when i finished your name

i looked up at you

saw you standing in front of me

your eyes locked onto mine

you took my breath away

one gasp

became that intake of breath i needed

to survive the length of your kiss

your arms

were wrapped around me

holding me steady as we walked back toward the water

the water splashed onto the back of my feet

ice shot through my veins

your lips warmed me

we kept going backward

and i watched our death play out before my closed eyes

my lips would be swollen

we would fall backward

i'd land in the water first

your hands would grab

and pull

and yank

and touch

nothing

the screaming kids

the seagulls

the crashing waves

would all be muffled

my eyes would open

and burn

my mouth would open in shock

i would swallow the ocean

faintly hear the screams of my names

feel the featherlike touches of you trying to save me

i would panic

my eyes would open

they would grow wide

my arms would flail

my legs wouldn't work

i'd close my mouth

slip my eyes closed

feel the rays of the sun beaming into the water

wanting to love my skin

i just wanted to remember

your smile

your laugh

the way your hand felt in mine

i just wanted to remember

the feel of our fingers

threaded so tightly

that nothing could tear them apart

i just wanted to remember

how your arms felt

wrapped around my waist

the way they touched me

as if i was the most fragile thing

i just didn't want to remember

your screams

and your tears

and the way your hands clawed at me

to save me

i just wanted to remember

what i thought happiness was...