When Luke's Girls Talk Boys

When Calum Got Curious

"There she goes," Calum said as he shook his head a little. "The Queen Bee of this damn high school."

"Calum, how many times do we have to go over this?" Michael said and waved his hand in front of Calum's face a few times when he realized that Michael had been staring at Luke's ass for quite some time. "Luke is a guy. And also, I thought you were straight. Why the hell are you staring at a guy's ass if you're straight?"

"That ass is enough to make you confused though, I'm telling you. I mean, look. Look. Look at it. That's a really hot ass. And in that stupid little skirt. Damn." Calum said and Ashton rolled his eyes a little as he walked up behind Michael and Calum.

"He's lying, Michael. He's closeted. That's what it is." Ashton said as he sat between Calum and Michael. "Although, he is right. Luke does have a super fine ass. Everyone knows that, straight or not."

Michael raised his eyebrow and looked over at Calum. "Is that so? I've been your friend since we were like five, and I had no idea that you're gay."

"Wow. Thanks, buddy means a lot." Calum said sarcastically and patted his back.

"I seriously didn't know. I couldn't tell. I mean, it's really obvious that Luke is gay, but, you... you don't seem gay." Michael said.

"Okay, hold up. Just because I don't prance around in a skirt doesn't mean I'm straight. A guy can be gay and seem completely straight. I just thought you'd pick up on all the little things, considering you know me so well." Calum said and Michael shrugged. "Plus, you're gay and you don't dress like Luke. Literally the only way a lot of people know you are is because you're dating Ashton. Very publicly dating Ashton."

"But you knew that I'm gay because I told you I was gay." Michael said and Calum sighed.

"You wanted for me to tell you.. didn't you?" Calum said and Michael nodded.

"Yeah. It would've been nice." Michael said and Calum shook his head a little.

"My mom doesn't even know, dude." Calum said and Michael sighed.

"Look, I-"

"Dude, it's okay. I was going to tell you eventually. The only reason your boyfriend knows is because I was with him long before you even were." Calum said and Michael widened his eyes.

"... WHAT?!"

Calum shrugged and stood up before going to throw away his trash.

"Is he kidding?" Michael asked Ashton and Ashton let out an uncomfortable laugh. "Ashton, is he kidding?" Michael repeated.

"No.." Ashton muttered. "Not really."

"Oh my god. I had no idea." Michael said and Ashton messed with the straw in his drink, not wanting to talk about the fact that he used to date Calum.

"Anyways. Different topic please?" Ashton said and Michael shrugged, knowing it probably was actually best to change the subject, so he did.

"Well." Michael said.

"Well what?" Ashton asked and looked over at Michael.

"He called Luke a girl." Michael whispered to Ashton.

"Who doesn't? He acts like one. And he honestly would probably be flattered if he knew that everyone called him a-"

"Girl? I know. I've got to say, boys. I'm flattered, I really am, but, just like you two, I have a dick."

"Oh, you talk to us?" Michael said and Luke rolled his eyes.

"I talk to idiots occasionally, I suppose. I'm not really sure why, but I do." Luke said and shrugged before walking away.

"What a fucking bitch." Michael muttered.

"Hey! Don't swear." Ashton said and slapped Michael's arm slightly.

"Well, he is. You know he is." Michael said as he glared at Ashton. "Wait, which word?"

"I know, I know. Just.. ignore it." Ashton said and Michael sighed. "Both."

"Fucking or bitch?" Michael said and Ashton rolled his eyes.

"I said both. Stop swearing, butthole." Ashton said and Michael let out a slight laugh.

"Cutie." Michael said and leaned over before kissing the side of Ashton's neck softly.

"Hey, guys. I have a question." Calum said as he walked back over to Ashton and Michael and sat with them.

"We might have an answer." Ashton said.

"I wonder what happens." Calum said and looked towards the door, where Luke and his friends were currently standing.

"What do you mean?" Michael questioned.

"When Luke's girls talk boys." Calum replied.

"What?" Ashton asked.

"You know... when they talk about boys, I guess. Like... girls talk about that kind of thing, right?" Calum said and Michael and Ashton glanced at each other before looking at Calum.

"I mean, some do, I guess. Luke's a-"

"Guy. I know, I know. Luke is a guy. But, he acts like a girl. He's quite feminine. So. Basically I'm just wondering what it's like when he's talking to Lane and Mal."

"Have you lost it?" Michael said and Calum shrugged.

"I don't know. Maybe? I'm just.. curious." Calum said and looked at both of the boys. "Haven't either of you ever wondered what it's like? Or what they talk about?"

"I mean, I guess so." Michael said. "Yeah... Yeah, I've wondered."

"Not really." Ashton admitted and looked over at the door to see Luke talking with his friends. "I mean, he seems quite bitchy."

"I think it's just a facade." Michael said and Ashton glared at him. "I think he only acts bitchy and confident so that people would be too afraid to pick on him."

"I don't know. I mean-"

"We've gotten off subject. We were talking about what he talks about, not what he is." Michael said.

"Well, I mean, we don't know what he talks about." Ashton said.

"We have to find out." Calum said and Michael shook his head. "We really, really have to find out."

"Why?" Ashton asked.

"We just do. We have to find out." Calum said anxiously.

"Good luck with that, dude." Michael said and stood up before starting to walk away from his friend and boyfriend.

Calum watched him for a second before looking at Ashton, then looked over at the door again.

"There's got to be a way." Calum whispered to himself.

"There's no way you could find out, Calum. You'll just have to-"

"What if we had an inside source?" Calum said and Ashton raised his eyebrow slightly.