disconnected | c.r [1]

46.

"Well, next time, make up your fucking mind and don't play with people, and maybe you won't have this issue!" Her voice was overly cheery to the point of sarcasm as she started applying foundation to her face, Chandler not holding back a sigh.

"Okay, I deserve that." He muttered, making her chuckle, a tinge of bitterness noticeable.

"Chandler, you deserve a whole lot more. But, I can barely look you in the eye, nevermind punch you in the face, so I guess you can keep all your teeth." The silence that followed Sydney's comment didn't go unnoticed by the blonde, but she couldn't bring herself to mind it as she moved on to fill in her eyebrows. "Are you actually gonna say something or are you just incredibly interested in my eyebrow routine?" She questioned, making the boy clear his throat.

Her eyes were still not on him, and after her previous witty remark, the boy gathered that was the whole point. She wasn't late, she just wanted an excuse not to look at him. "I don't know what you want me to say." He managed finally.

"Well, when someone comes to your doorstep and tells you they don't want to be with you, completely out of the blue, after three months of something, it kinda stings. You said you wanted to explain. So, get on with it, or I swear I'm dropping the call." She threatened.

She said it all without looking at Chandler, her gaze on the mirror as she applied bronzer to her cheeks. He, on one end, was scared. Of her, for her. She had never, ever been this cold to him. Sydney was warm and happy. She was spring kisses and days spent watching Disney movies. Never this, never before.

On the other hand, he had never seen anyone walk the line between terrifying and gorgeous quite like her. He figured that's why he loved her so much. Her uniqueness- not on a quirky, "not like other girls" way. That was bullshit. There was nothing wrong with being "like other girls", Sydney would be the first to tell him that.

He simply loved everything about her. Her freckles, her slight dimples, the way her eyes lit up at the mention of her music. He loved the specific tint of red that would coat her cheeks when he complimented her, he loved the smile that would fall on her lips every time he kissed her. He loved her voice, he loved her singing, he loved the way she said his name- it was special. Different from the way anyone else said it. It made him feel important to her.

"I'm... Sorry. I'm sorry and that's not enough. Because I shouldn't have done that, I shouldn't have said that. But- But I meant it. And not in the way you might think." He paused, and for the first time, Sydney looked up at her phone.

Her face wasn't hard anymore, but Chandler didn't know if he preferred this. Because now, her gaze was so vulnerable. Her eyes showed all the hurt that had been swarming her, her lips quivering softly. And it stung to know he was the one to blame for this.

"I meant it when I said I wasn't happy. That I wanted more than this. But, I was angry and I was insecure. I thought that you didn't actually want to date me, so when you said people change, I just assumed you were gonna be with me out of pity or something, just so I'd stick around. And, you don't deserve that, and neither do I." Sydney intervened as she added mascara, not having it in her to do eyeliner at the moment.

"I never would've done that to you. I wouldn't date you just because no one else is around. Because, newsflash, other people are around. Maybe, I'm not supposed to say that, but it's true. Other people have always been around. But, I don't want anyone else." She muttered. Her voice was so nonchalant as she ran the mascara wand through her lashes, Chandler almost couldn't believe it.

Because this girl was so open about her feelings. How could she just say this? Weren't people supposed to keep everything inside and bottle things up? Sydney, who'd grown up with parents whose version of love was so distorted by money. Sydney, whose first love had betrayed her. Sydney, who had every single reason to think nothing of the word "love", was less bitter about it than him.