This is Me

01-10-14

Dear Diary,

Today was alright I guess. Alayna wouldn't stop talking about the conversation she had with Jace, known as Donut. She confessed that she had a crush on him. And then everything fell apart when I got home.

Matt was talking to me on the phone. And then he asked me the question that I absolutely hate. He asked me if I liked someone else. I literally broke down crying. Plus it didn't help that the person I like has feelings for a guy two years older than her. Matt said that getting over my feelings for Alayna was the best thing to do. He told me that I had to tell her. I was shaking so badly and my stomach was twisted. I told him I didn't know if I could. She was straight. Is straight. How could I tell her?. Finally I told her how I felt. She admitted that she had liked me too at a point. But she got over them. She said she couldn't love me the way Matt could. A part of me screamed that I didn't care. As long as she could love me. But I couldn't leave Matt. I'm still shaking badly. My sister knows now. She gave me some advice but I don't know if I can follow it. She said that Alayna should give me a different nickname and stop calling me baby girl. I wanted to scream Never at her.

Well, good night. Til then, my dears.

-Katie