Ship of Dreams {Immortalfox} HIATUS

Chapter 4: Jumping (To Conclusions)

AN: Holy cow, here’s chapter 4! Uh, warnings for very brief self-harm scene and suicide attempt? yeah.  ALSO shout-out to BlueLovesStuff and Elocineol for the follows!

_____________________________________________________________________________

*SHIP OF DREAMS*

Chapter 4: Jumping (To Conclusions)

Aleks is surrounded by people talking and laughing and he has never felt more alone.

After Richard borderline dragged him back to the dining saloon, Aleks had been largely ignored by everyone. Lindsay, Gavin, and Ryan had left already, replaced by more dull strangers. Richard and Tatiana were laughing about something he had said, and the others were engaged in heated rumors and gossip. Before his eyes, Aleks saw his entire life playing out like this, nothing but the same senseless words and people. He could feel his throat closing in anguish.

Beneath the table, Aleks poked his crab-fork into the uncovered skin of his arm, harder and harder until it draws blood.

Eventually Aleks has had enough and excused himself from the dinner. His mother looked like she was about to throw another fit and Aleks felt like he would lose his mind if he spent another second there, so he rushed away.

Outside, he is perfectly composed. He smiled politely to a steward who greets him. Inside, he is shaking with emotions he can’t describe.

Aleks finally makes it to his room, and for a moment he just stared at his reflection in the mirror. And then with an explosive force and a primal cry, he hurled the mirror to the floor, shards of glass splintering around. In a frenzy Aleks attacked the room, flinging ornaments of the dresser, tearing at the bed sheets. He ran outside, not caring where he ends up or who sees him. He’s furious and angry but tears streak his flushed cheeks. Mostly Aleks feels desperation and hatred, though he cannot tell if it’s hatred for those controlling his life or himself.

Unknown to Aleks, he’s nearing Eddie with every rushed step he takes. Eddie was kicked back on one of the benches on deck, gazing up at the stars and smoking a cigarette. A moment of solace away from the noise of the third class rooms. He never thought he would hear someone running up the stairs from the wall deck and run right past him. The artist brings himself up by his elbows and turns his head just in time to catch who it was.

Aleks never noticed the man relaxing in the shadows. There was no one else on the stern deck except him. Running along the deserted fantail, Aleks suppresses his hitched sobbing. He slammed into the base of the stern flagpole and clung there, panting for breath. The water beneath him was pitch-black. Aleks stared down with empty eyes and bit the inside of his cheek. He’s had enough of the rules and the overbearing people in his life, but he couldn’t see any way out. It would just… be really easy to…

The Russian began to climb over the railing separating him from the ocean. Alarm bells are ringing in his head but Aleks pushed on. He got on his heels on the white-painted gunwale, back to the railing, facing the inky blackness. 60 feet below him, the propellers churned the ocean water into white foam, and a ghostly wake trailed off toward the horizon.

Aleks leaned forward, looking down into the vortex below him. The only sound he heard was the wind ruffling his hair and the rush of water beneath. He held his breath…

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you.”

At the sound of the unfamiliar voice Aleks whipped his head around. It takes a second for his eyes to focus but a man with kind brown eyes and scruff soon came into his sight. Aleks flinched backwards away on instinct. “Stay away!  Don’t… don’t come any closer!”