radiance | baekhyun

33

in truth, baekhyun was tense by the whole thing himself. he didn't know what he'd done; what it meant now. for him and the others.

and, fuck, he missed her so much. her warm skin and her sparkling, inquisitive eyes. his heart hurt. baekhyun wondered what she was doing right now. he'd tried to phone her but she'd ignored him. ended the call. and he didn't blame her, after what he'd done to her.

left her; no questions answered. nothing. no explanations.

it had been almost a week now.

if only he wasn't so conflicted. if only he knew what to do in his situation. no-one could help him.

"i couldn't sleep," kai interjected his thoughts, carrying on from their conversation. he chucked the spoon into the sink with a metallic thud, and proceeded to lean against the counter, facing baekhyun.

"yeah. me neither," baekhyun admitted. whispered. "did jongdae come back after he went out last night?"

stupid question, really.

"no," kai replied. he took a long and somewhat desperate gulp of his drink. "he texted and said he'd maybe be back later today. guess he had to go and think about...everything."

that didn't sound very promising to baekhyun, but he took kai's blunt and unanimated response with a small nod, sheepishly shoving his hands into his pockets. shrugged his shoulders. baekhyun decided, again, that he'd really fucked up this time.

the tangible tension between the two boys was only magnified by the echoing silence of their dialogue; the kitchen was small and empty, and jongdae was gone, taking any reason that was left.

"sehun still hasn't replied," kai continued. he looked glum; upset, almost. "must have phoned him about seven or eight times."

"i'm sure he's fine," baekhyun assured. he knew he couldn't promise that.

baekhyun felt sick. he needed to get out of here.

"i think i might go out for a bit," baekhyun uttered. "you'll be alright by yourself?"

kai locked gaze with him.

"yeah, yeah, whatever."

baekhyun nodded. went back upstairs, shoved on the first articles of clothing he could find, grabbed his phone and his wallet, and left the house with a despair that weighed down upon his shoulders.

//

09:51.

he phoned sehun for the eleventh time in an hour: no answer.

where the fuck could he have gone?

baekhyun had been sat in the same position since the breakfast shift, the small café acting as a shield from the outside world and his responsibilities and problems. he was already on his fourth coffee, the strong, bitter taste burning down his throat. comforting him.

picked his phone up again and called jongdae: no answer.

baekhyun threw his phone down onto the table.

ran his hand through his messy hair.

baekhyun picked up his lighter and lit a cigarette, balancing it between his chapped lips. the orange butt-end glowed as he smoked it desperately. tired eyes peeled open, watching his surroundings intently.