I'm Sorry

My Life

Let me sum up my life in a few short words.

Sad.
Depressing.
Self harm.
Fake.
Laughter.
Bullying.

Why I sum up my life using THOSE 6 words you may ask. Well. I will tell you.

SAD -  I brought sad into this becuase I am a sad person. My life is sad as well. Not my life, like the way I live. No. But, it has to do with what has happened in my life.

Age 3 - got surgery in my left eye. Almost went blind.
 
Age 4 - Daddy went to prison for a long while. When he got out, he promised my sister and I he would never go back there. Back to prison I mean.

Age 5-7 I moved a lot. Withing those 2 years, I went to about 4 different schools.

Age 7.5 - Moved in with my aunty. My brother and I did  This was becuase my parents were bad druggies and stuff.

Age 8 - started at my new school. Was getting bullied. Heck, I even found out some 3rd graders knew how to punch real hard. Ever since then I had been bullied hy the same kids. It was both verbal, and physical.

Age 11&12 - Studied real hard in 6th grade so I could go to the top middle/high school In Missouri. (I got in btw) At that school.... the bullying got worse though.

Age 13 - I cut for the first time. Oh, I also started to really like this guy. He broke my heart though. I also started to lie this ONE lie all the time. The " I'm Fine " lie.

Afe 14 - Cut more often. Moved out of the house I was in becuase I was getting abused verbally and physically. Started at a new school and stuff. And now we are here.

DEPRESSING - WoW. Depressing. Such a sad word. I really don't know what I want to day to explain this word. How is my life depressing? Well. Everything that you just read.
Also, maybe the fact that I hate the way I look. Maybe it is cause I think I am too fat. Too short. Too ugly.

SELF HARM - I put this in becuase I have cut myself. Why did I cut, you may be wondering. Well. Good question. No. It wasn't for attention. It was becuase the pain of the blade sliding across my skin.... it was my maun focus. I didn't have to focus on anything else in my life. Nothing else, but that pain mattered. Amd So, i cut more often. Only so I didn't have to focus on a lot of pain. It was like the drug I was addicted to. 

FAKE - Fake smiles. Fake laughs. Fake friends. Fake people.

That is all I have to say for this one.

LAUGHTER - I inserted this one becuase.... well.... Becuase I have ALWAYS tried to make people laugh. I have ALWAYS tried to get a smile out of someone. It is just something that I enjoy doing.

BULLYING - Well..... I have always been bullied, as I have explained.

I just wanted to share this with you. Maybe. I don't know. Maybe it could help you.

You are not alone. You are loved. You are cared about. You are beautiful / handsome.

YOU DESERVE TO BE HERE!!!! Talk before you act