Rose Petal

the rose

My eyes, glazed over with tears, looked at the raging water below. My bones ached with chills. A low tremor clawed up my weak body, yet somehow my determination remained stuck fast. The ledge I stood upon was steep. Wrong foot work and I was to be lost...however the accident would be accomplished easier than the act. I gathered my thoughts peacefully as I stood in the calming clearing. I was surrounded on all sides by behemoth trees of great shapes and sizes. Emerald green and different shades of earth cradled my bearings. The wind was gentle. Only just comforting my uneasy heart. My capricious mind did not hinder however, and I was certain of the intention I rest upon. I pursed my feverish lips that were coated in red wax. My eyelashes lacquered in black ink fluttered close as if to reveal some moral. Alas all I saw was darkness. In this darkness, danced designs of different colors. The colors and designs you'd see when sleep seemed hard to reach. My tongue carefully tasted the burgundy lipstick that covered my tender lips. I let out a delicate smile, for I felt beautiful. My gown was a precious eggshell white with gold satin details. Pearls of white encompassed my fragile neck that hid scars from past misfortunes. My mind quickly shied away from such thoughts. One must deny such a bird of prey that circles in the sky, but I was no scarecrow... My hands trembled with regret as I traced the silky material around my waste. My toes hugged the dirt below making dents in the earth. Strands of hair whipped about my face playfully. I tucked a wisp of hair neatly behind my ear. My hair was decorated in a petite bun. White ribbon held my red locks tidy. I inhaled steadily opening my eyes which lightly stuck together from the drying tears. A solitary tear of joy rushed down my flushed cheek. A droplet of rain water slipping down a rose petal. In my life, I had never felt so elegant or pretty. The age of mine would soon freeze at 19. I was a rather short girl at 5'2". My body large towards the fanny and sculpted above the waste. I was a pleasing figure. Blinking quickly to release my thoughts. I took one step forward. I now could look directly below, and see the white caps over the dark rushing water. The clouds above acted as a single blanket that kept me from the sun's sight. I felt still. My body had practiced the routine over and over, yet I still could not drop. My mind must be at ease first. I stared straight and lost myself in deep thought. Memories of school, friends, and loved ones flooded my world. I clenched my teeth in distaste. You see, I've been planning this fall since I was 15...I am ready. I am prepared for my end. I must go quickly, and before downfall. My poor parents mustn't know an iota of my disappearance. Town's men will surely search for my where-beings, and the mystery of my leaving will be halted. I allowed myself to slip away from the morose thought and slipped into a few other memories to grace my thoughts. I remembered my close friends Perry and Pan. Those two had been with me since I'd been a little girl. Yet to my unwillingness, their bond had grown closer. Of coursed those wild girls would miss me, but could easily find a way to move on... I stifled a sob. Oh.. and Clause, the one debonair whom my heart had settled. Clause's heart however did not follow mine. The young boy found home in another land. My eyes have not blessed themselves with his beauty since I was 15. What a shame. The gentleman was quite older than me. His way unfortunately, had no path to follow that would lead to my place. There lies no trail that should connect us. The heart always desires what the soul cannot have. I do have ones I loved. My father and mother. I loved them deeply. They may never understand my decision let alone agree, but they should know my heart belongs with them. I am a troubled soul. I see darkness more regularly than I see joy. My life is the Great Depression, and my home is the yellow brick road. I was on search of Neverland. I intend to never age. I intend to freeze my beauty. I do not wish to see the sorrows of the future. I have received what I want from life. I have lived. I am through. My purpose is finished. My soul is old. I am ready. I am strong. I can do this... Just one more step, and I'll be through. One more breath to take before I am immortal. Thank you for the life I have been given, but I am through. Why am I still? I must be in flight. Where's my strength? This is my end. This is my fate. Though do not mistake this act for weakness. I am doing this out of completion. I am not fed up with life. I am at peace. I am at a state where I live for no one and care for no future. Just one more step. I grabbed my dress silently pleased at the way the fabric tickled my numbing hands. I smile. "This is it." I breathe in. I move one foot nearer to the edge. "Emily?!" a familiar voice cries in unmistakable terror. My head whips behind to find a young boy. My heart flies and flutters, yet my body plummets down. I'm floating. My stomach lurches nine feet above. I stay locked in euphoria seeing again the beautiful horrified face that called for me. So... beau--