the ultimatum ↬ elliot alderson ✔

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I remember now. I'm losing my mind. Not that I wasn't insane before the memory of me murdering Tyrell came to mind again. Now it's definite that I'm mentally deranged. I can't hear myself think anymore- he's taken over me. I am Mr Robot and I have no control of it.

Fuck. My hands are shaking. I can feel the enormous pain hit my entire body. How could I forget? What made me forget? Did Mr Robot make me do it? Did I kill Tyrell to save my own skin?

My eyes scan the entrance to my flat, remembering the last time I was here. It's been a month since I came. I miss being alone. But I never am alone, because of him. Of the one person that took full control of my body.

I can't face Dawn like this.

If what I remember is true, I murdered Tyrell Wellick. But how is it possible? I saw him next to the arcade. He was talking to me. Was that just a delusion?

Shit. Maybe I should go back to taking my meds. No. Mr Robot says I shouldn't.

"They will erase me and you cannot let them do that. I am an organ vital to your existence."

I can hear him in my head now. No, I can hear the words come out of my mouth, without any control.

"Control is an illusion, kiddo."

His voice is becoming louder now. I press my back against the wall, sliding down before I hit the ground. I feel like everything is moving around me. The only constant being Mr Robot's voice, lingering all over my body, from my head down to the bottom of my spine.

Somehow, I feel hollow. This feeling has become normality, but never in the breadth it is now. My head is pulsing as I let out cries of shock and terror. I'm going insane, I'm really losing it.

Did I imagine it all? The code, the phone I received, the conversation... Was that all fake? Did I manage to distort my own reality?

Shit. I don't do morphine anymore. How will I relieve the throbbing ache of his voice from my mind?

"You need to listen to me."

"NO!" I exclaim at the top of my lungs. I know Mr Robot can hear me, even when he's inside my head. He's meddling with my memories. With my way of communicating. My vision is beginning to blur; the spasms in my head still vigorous. Where is my mind?

I've lost control.

***

I open my eyes, realising that I've been shivering the whole night. Shit. I passed out. But is he gone? Did I regain control?

My phone buzzes. It's Darlene; she wants to meet up at the warehouse from last time. She says it's urgent. Dawn hasn't texted me in the past 24 hours. Maybe she knows I was breaking down and wanted to give me space. I text her to make sure she's okay before walking out of my apartment.

I lost control last night. I can't let that happen again. I get on the subway, lowering my gaze to make sure no one recognises me. I should see Krista again. I can't slip up again. At the corner of my eye, I notice one of the men standing next to me in a suit. One of them clenches when they meet my gaze. Shit. They're back- the men in black are back again.

I make sure I'm not being followed as I look over the directions Darlene gave me to the warehouse. It's a few miles inside Brooklyn, meaning that hardly anyone will recognise the shift in location from the Coney Island arcade to here. Darlene said this was safe enough for us to use.

I trust her.

My eyes scan the derelict building, wondering if I'm the only one there yet. I knock on the door before walking in, my thoughts interrupted when I see everyone from fsociety except Mobley. Even Trenton is here, too.