11. calls

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"Damn you."


"Be a good man, grandpa."


"Call me that again and I'm going to sue you."


"Eh. I don't even know why I was being friendly to you last night."


"I was asking myself the same thing."


"Ohhh how thoughtful."


"Fck you."


"Jerk."


"Btch."



"WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME??"


"Want me to repeat it?"



"No."


"So is that you're dog laughing on the background again or is that dog you?"


"What the fck—I don't have one!"



"Aha! Gotcha. So it is YOU! You laughed!"


"I said it was my brother's."


"But is it your brother's that I heard now too?"



"..."



"Fcking nerd."


"LOL."



"Who says "lol" on the phone."


"Maybe the one who says "wtf" on the phone."


"Fck off—"



"Why! How good are you at diverting the topic, aren't you, sir?"


"Cut it."


"What? Your tongue?"



"No. Yours."


"Go to hell."


"I'm on my fcking way."



"Good to know."


"Why don't you go to hell too? Sounds like a plan."


"Nah I'm a good noodle."

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