I Could Be Nothing But a Memory to You

Chapter 15

"Not this time Rian, we're done." I told him and he flinched at the absolute sincerity in my voice. "Leah please." Rian begged but I shook my head. "I'm staying at a hotel tonight, I'm flying home tomorrow and I'll figure out what to do then." I told him and Rian sighed in defeat as I heard feet. "Leah, you can't do this!" Jack exclaimed and I shook my head. "It's happening." I said stubbornly as I looked over the back and made sure I had everything. "Leah please, think this over before you do anything rash." Travis pleaded but I shook my head. "I'm sorry." I said softly and started trying to lug both heavy suitcases to the front so I could get the rest of my stuff and just go. Rian grabbed them from my hands though, "Fine but at least let us help you." he said softly and I let them slip from my hands. Rian and the rest of the guys left the back quietly. I stood up straight and sucked in a deep breath. Be strong Leah I told myself and then I walked out.

*Alex's POV*

I hated myself so much, the heart wrenching look on Leah's face caused me to ache with guilt. I needed to do it though, this pain would be less than all of the pain I would end up causing her combined. I had thought hard about this while on my walk and this was best solution I could come up with. Well best for her, definitely not for me. My heart felt like it had been pounded into minced meat and all I wanted to do was cry, so that's what I did. I went straight to my bunk, closed the curtain and bawled my eyes out. I wanted so bad to jump out of the bunk and beg Leah for forgiveness, to tell her how stupid I am and how she should stay but I didn't.

I was still in my bunk feeling guilty and sorry for myself when someone yanked the curtain open. "It's time for the meet and greet." Jack said softly and by the red rimmed look of his eyes I could tell he had been crying too. "I'll be in there in a minute." I croaked and Jack nodded before walking away. I climbed out of the bunk and darted into the bathroom before anyone could see my tear stained face. I washed my face quickly, fixed my hair and tried to look like I wasn't a mess. Once I finished in the bathroom I went into the back and changed out of the crappy clothes I was wearing. After I had fresh jeans and a shirt on I walked out of the back lounge. The bus was quiet and I knew all of the guys were already in the venue. I plastered a smile on my face before walking down the steps and out of the bus. All of the kids who were outside in line screamed at the sight of me and I waved at them before slipping into the venue.

The meet and greet had already started by the looks of it and the large grouping of girls squealed before crowding around me. "Hi. Yeah, I can sign that for you. Thank you." was pretty much the only things I said all night. I could tell most of the girls were annoyed by my attitude but I didn't care. I was depressed; the one person I loved most in the world was leaving because of me. I knew it was for the best though and I tried to tell myself that but nothing could stop the way my heart ached. It was like losing her all over again. Finally when the meet and greet was over I escaped to the quiet of the dressing room. I curled onto the couch and laid my head on the arm rest. I was only in there alone for a couple minutes when all of the guys came in. Jack threw himself onto the couch beside me while Rian and Zack sat over on the floor against the wall. I could hear them talking quietly and every once in a while they would shoot me a glance.

I started to feel uncomfortable after a couple minutes of this and I jumped up. "I'm going to get a drink." I told everyone and without waiting for an answer I slipped out of the room. I looked down at my cell phone and I fought the urge to cry as I saw the background that was Leah with her nose scrunched up and nuzzling my face while I smiled. I swallowed down my tears and just focused on the time. I saw that I had about two hours until I had to be back for the show. I pulled my hood up and walked swiftly down the street, looking either for a bar or for a liqueur store. Finally I reached a store and turned into it quickly. I pulled down my hood so I didn't look like I was up to no good and started down the aisle. I grabbed a bottle of Gray Goose and then a six pack of Heineken before walking to the front. I paid and then quickly grabbed everything. Once I got back to the venue I popped opened the beer and started drinking.