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Pen Your Pride

Chapter 10

I missed him, there was no point in denying that, everyone knew, they thought I was pathetic. I know it's sad and cliche... but I felt like I needed him. His presense made it better.

   ‘Alex, can I turn off the air conditioning?’ I asked, she nodded, I turned it down and wiped my tears.  Dammit! Not again...

   ‘Are you okay?’ she asked, I nodded

   ‘Thanks, is Carl still at your house’

   ‘No, he’s at his house’

   ‘Good, so we can talk’ I smiled

   'And listen to Taylor Swift' she laughed, I nodded

   ‘Should I tell him I miss him?’ I asked, I looked up at her from where I had been inspecting my nails

   ‘When you’re ready, you should. First I think you should think about it.' she nodded, then paused and continued 'Amelie? Can I ask you something?’ I nodded

   ‘Sure…’ I said, warily.

   ‘What happened with Jared?’ she asked. My breath caught in my throat until I coughed.

   ‘He brought Vodka, I threatened I’d tell and he hit me’

   ‘You idiot!’ she laughed ‘You don’t do that! Oh my God! Well done, though for standing up for what you thought was right. I’m glad you’re okay though’

   ‘Yeah. I know…’ I sighed ‘thanks, kind of...’

   ‘Look you’re fine now, it’s the past, time to move on.’

     Later Alex dropped me back to Brandon’s house.

   ‘What are you doing back here?’ Brandon demanded when he opened the door and saw me there, awkwardly playing with my phone, pretending to text.

   ‘I don’t particularly want to get in trouble either’ I pointed out. He shrugged and stepped aside to let me in. I sat beside Joshua on the couch and Tiger jumped up beside me.

   ‘Tiger hasn’t stopped whining since you left’ Brandon told me. I nodded

   ‘You’re feeling better..’ I said pointedly, 

   ‘Not really’ he said, leaving the room. I rolled my eyes and went outside. I picked up Tiger's squeaky toy and ran up the garden, loudly singing “Can‘t touch this!” since the dog couldn’t get the toy. Then singing “At last” when he finally got it. Sometimes I was such a weirdo. But I was in a singing kind of mood.

   ‘Yay, puppy! You got it!’ I exclaimed running after him to get the toy. It felt like the only person I could talk to in the house was the dog. That could have been the most depressing sentance I have ever heard.


I walked into the kitchen to get some popcorn and Coke. I looked out side and saw Amelie and Tiger running around out side. He snapped his toy away from her. She clapped her hands and started randomly singing the chorus of “At Last”. It reminded me of when she’d unconsciously sing along to the radio in the car or when she'd sing in the shower, when I was over and she didn't know I could hear or when we were younger and she’d sing for everyone at the party our parents would throw. Her voice was sweet, as I remembered. 

   ‘Yay, puppy! You got it!’ she cheered and chased the dog for the toy.

   ‘He’s not a puppy’ I said, walking into the garden with my hands in my pockets, forgetting about the drinks. Tiger ran towards me and I crouched down and pet him. She narrowed her eyes.

   ‘He is to me!’ she replied walking over to join me. She sat on the step in front of the door. She smiled at the view of us both. Man’s Best Friend. ‘Wait, stay still!’ she ordered pulling out her phone and snapping a picture, she turned the phone around so I could see. ‘How cute is this!’ she was trying to let me know she was sorry without saying it, so immature and stupid. I wasn’t falling for it. I shrugged

   ‘It’s nice, I suppose…’ I shrugged. She gazed at the picture and tilted her head.

   ‘You look tense in the picture, though. See?’ she asked. Showing me again. She was ignoring the fact I wasn’t forgiving her so she didn’t feel awkward. She was so annoying! I nodded

   ‘Yeah, I suppose I do. I wonder why!?’ I said sarcastically, standing up properly and facing her, glaring down at her. Her eyes were showing hints of pain and sorrow and some moisture. She stood and turned around. 

   ‘Fine, be like that.’ she called over her shoulder, sounding grave. I saw her try to blink back tears. She closed the door after her and I saw her run up the stairs through the glass of the door. Josh came outside and stood in front of me, crossing his arms over his chest. The protective, older brother stereo-type coming out. 

   ‘Dude!’ he yelled ‘You made her cry! What did you do?!’

   ‘Nothin’! She’s a teenage girl! She’s emotional.’ I replied, trying not to smile. He rolled his eyes. He opened the door and told the dog to find Amelie. He understood -A trick I’d taught him- and ran up the stairs. I saw he stopped halfway up the stairs and his tail started wagging. She was sitting on the stairs.

   ‘Told you she was upset.’ he said.

    ‘No way! Really?’ I said sarcastically. He glared at me.

   ‘Brandon!’ he warned. 'Go!' I sighed

   ‘I’m going!’ I said. Stepping past him and openening the glass door. Everything felt like slow motion. I was nervous for a reason unknown to me. I walked through the cream coloured kitchen. Walking through the wooden doorway into the yellow hallway. I turned to walk up the stairs. I saw Amelie hugging the dog and crying into his fur. It was like something from Annie. She looked up at me. She glared at me, it was so weird, so out-of-character. It wasn't her usually, joking kind of glare. It was scary. She stood and pounded up the rest of the stairs and walked into the bathroom and slammed the door. I rolled my eyes, walked up the stairs, I leaned against the door. My forehead pressed against the cold wood.

   ‘Amelie?’ I called. She didn’t answer. ‘Amelie?!’ I repeated, louder. I heard her sniff.

   ‘What?!’ she demanded, her voice cracked with her crying. I sighed, last time I had seen her crying, I had held, comforted her.

   ‘Are you okay?’ stupid question, but you have to start somewhere.

   ‘Oh my God!’ she growled 'Are you for real?'

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