Himitsu (Book One of the Kakureta Hana series)

III: San

I fall asleep sometime after that. When I am woken by a knock, I find that I hadn't even made it to my bedding. Instead, I am still slumped against the wall.

I bolt upright, banging into a low table as I do. I even slept in my clothes, looking like I just passed out, which I guess I did.

"Jun," Ryuu calls through the door, clearly concerned, "are you well in there?"

I clench my jaw slightly at the sound of his voice, half-remembered dreams drifting through my mind. "I am fine, Ryuu. You merely startled me awake."

He yanks open the door a moment after I make sure my kimono is in place to hide my bindings, and I see his eyebrows raise in surprise. "That is unusual."

"What?" I ask, wondering if I somehow missed something as I cross my arms defensively against my chest. "That fact that you entered my room uninvited or the fact that I do not look like I just woke up?"

"No, Jun. It is more of the very obvious fact that you haven't been up for hours like you usually are, haunting the halls. Did your mind finally ensure you got more than three hours of sleep?"

I blink at him, somewhat surprised that he hadn't brought up the fact that I had sent him away last night and relieved that he thought only that was amiss. Instead, he had chosen to bring up the idea that I hadn't woken up at the first sign of sunlight.

Realizing he's still waiting for a reply, I clear my throat and choke out, "My early risings have saved our skins more than once, Ryuu. I don't believe now would be a good time to cease."

Ryuu smiles slightly. "You present a good point, Jun. You have both saved our skins and kept us from rest with your obsessive pacing." Then his smile vanishes and something dark consumes his eyes. "I am truly sorry for last night. I did not mean to upset you in any way."

"I overreacted. You did nothing wrong," I insist. I just wish I could be more honest with him about everything.

His lips curve again, but it doesn't quite reach his eyes. "You do not have to make excuses. My behavior was inexcusable, milord."

I sigh, accepting the fact that I will not change his mind. "Was there some other reason you came to see me, Ryuu? Because if you don't have another reason, I would like to begin getting ready for the day."

"There are rumors that the Neji clan is preparing to attack the Aikawa clan. We believe we will be called on by on our allies to help them defend their territory," Ryuu states, a grim expression forming into the mask I rarely saw lowered. "If that occurs, there will likely be many casualties on both sides."

I bite my lip, remembering our last battle alongside the cowardly Aikawa Shigeru, who had inherited leadership of his clan about six months ago. His father had grown too old to fight, and Shigeru had proven content to leave his allies to die.

"How many men do we have ready to fight at a moment's notice?" I ask, mind whirling with ideas already. The Neji clan would know exactly what Shigeru's strategy would be during the battle: luring the opposing side in before turning tail and leaving us to fight their battles. He would only return after we had destroyed each other or when Neji Raiden dragged him out of his fortress.

My general's eyes move slightly as he thinks about it. "About two thousand right now. However, a number of those are unexperienced in battle."

"I want the majority of our experienced samurai upon the field if Lord Shigeru does call for our help. Keep those who have just finished their training and a few of our older men here to defend in case one of the other clans decides to move against us while we are at battle," I say slowly. "I will not risk more of our men than needed if we are abandoned by our ally especially since it is his battle we are fighting."