The Return of the King

Introduction

Initiation literally means 'to go within'. It is the entrance to the world of the soul, the inner world. In these times, the need to get in touch with this inner world is evermore tangible. Without the link between the soul and everyday life we lose the meaning, our life becomes empty and we try to fill it with all kinds of substitutes.

Initiation stories lead us in the right direction: they are guidelines on the path to personal evolution. They can inspire and show us the way, beyond the intellect, to the realms of the unconscious. The process of initiation is not a rational one, although ratio plays its part in it. It leads us to the essence of who we are and what we have come to do in this world. In this process the connection and interaction with others are of unfathomable value. Although there are no old wise men these days, each of us still holds a piece of the puzzle of what it means to be 'a man'.

These days, we have very few of the old initiation rituals left. The transition from boy to man is a forgotten phase and the old wise men or mentors who provide the tools to bring men in contact with there essence, have all but disappeared. As have many rituals, and the ones that still exist, are nothing more than outward manifestations with little depth. What we are left with is a fragile and sometimes immature manliness. Men are no longer in touch with themselves, they have lost the meaning and are often led by unconscious emotions and desires. They are confused about their male identity or cling to an old and rigid view of manliness. Behind the mask hides insecurity, fear and sorrow, and an unwillingness to accept the image of the man as he is now. A lot of men have become lone fighters, and try to figure it out by themselves. They miss the contact with their father, their first example of manliness. Contact with other men is mainly a struggle, competition, distance and distrust. Emotional matters are discussed with women, but they lack the security and power that contact with other men can provide.

One of the major misconceptions about men is the 'need to change'. It is often said - mostly by women - that men should change. But 'should' is never a good word. Real change can only stem from a deep desire to be yourself, to accept yourself as you are, with all your shortcomings and qualities and dare to acknowledge them. The word 'development' is more appropriate: to free your self from unnecessary burden and acquired behaviour, so only the essence remains. Not an ogre, or a wimp, not a hero or a god, but a man.

In our current changing society it seems women have taken the lead. From a suppressed position, women have started to fight for a different way of living together, different forms of relationships and different rights and duties. It looks as if men are lagging behind, but appearances can be deceiving. Men have a different path to follow: one of silence, of pain without glory. While women have a lot to gain, men at first, have a lot to lose. Their path is to surrender power and accept powerlessness and pain. It takes much courage to choose this path and descend into the catacombs of the soul.

Slowly the first men are returning from this dark voyage through the soul, and they are beginning to tell what they have experienced. They are beacons for many men who are on the verge of losing everything: they lose their job, their wife leaves them or they become ill. In a time where manly values and patriarchal institutions are fading away, a new vision of manliness arises: a man who integrates his feminine and masculine sides and takes responsibility for himself and the world around him. No macho, no softie, but a man who feels and acts from his heart.

This is the archetypical story of the boy who becomes a man, who gives up the role of son and prince and assumes the role of father and king. This is the psychological evolution that has been described in so many forgotten fairytales and legends. It is the process of birth, inner death en the long, difficult road that follows to be reborn again, this time fully conscious. It is the recurring tale that evolves around the ancient but topical theme: the return of the king.