I'm Like a Bird

Not Everything In This Magical World Is Quite What It Seems

You wake up lonely in bed the morning after. It's not pleasant and enough to make you want to apologise so things can go back to normal and you can just have him with you. But you still feel a dull ache lingering in the back of your mind that's telling you he's better off without you.

Geoff finds you during your lunch break at work and pulls you aside to talk.

"Why are you being such a hard ass (y/n)?"

"What?" you reply surprised.

"Your boyfriend's been miserable all day, it's obvious you're having the fight again."

It's shocking just how well Geoff knows you and you're genuinely embarrassed that he even knows exactly what it is that's wrong, the fact that it happens so often now. You start to recite off your excuses.

"Cut the shit (y/n). I've heard all of this a hundred times. You love him." You can't even bear to look Geoff in the eye, you simply nod in response. "Then tell him you idiot. I know you're scared of being hurt, it's okay. But it's not okay to shut yourself off from the happiness that you deserve, especially when you so clearly love each other's sorry asses."

Geoff's words hit home harder than usual and you spend a few days thinking about what he said. You drive out to your favourite spot on the outskirts of Austin, it has a great overview of the city. The night is cool and crisp and the sky is clear, you can see the moon perfectly. It's full tonight. For the first time in weeks you think about something other than your relationship, you think about the universe, how tiny Earth is, how insignificant. It puts everything into perspective and you realise that you need to change. 

Once you're home you text him to ask if he'll see you and he's there within minutes.

You comment on the record time he made it to yours and with an almost sad smile all he can reply is, "I had to get here before you changed your mind."

You give a small laugh but deep down it hurts to know that you've affected him so badly.

You sit down and gesture for him to do the same, "Well first I need to apologise for being the biggest asshole," he chuckles but squeezes your hand. You continue, "I need to be fully honest with you. Not everything in this magical world is quite what it seems..."

You talk for what feels like hours; you tell him everything, in sometimes brutal honesty, about how you were hurt before, why you're so closed off and how you think you've been looking for something more than just a feeling, something physical, something that you know is real. But now you're realising that everyday you're less scared about not finding whatever sign you think you need and more scared about losing him.

Once you stop speaking he looks at you, urging you to continue, "I guess what I'm saying is I want you to be with me. So long as you're okay with me having to just pretend that everything is okay sometimes, only until I can believe it on my own."

He grins so wide, you've missed his beautiful smile, and your heart soars, "I can live with that, so long as it's with you."

You settle down and cuddle on the sofa together, you can't help but think about the future, it feels so right to be with him and for the first time in as long as you can remember you think it might be okay, maybe life will have to catch up to you this time.