June

Chapter 9

It was June 15th. My leukemia had gotten worse. Much worse. 

Two nurses came into the room with my doctor.

Oh no.

He never came in unless it was to deliver either some horrible or some wonderful news. And considering the way I was feeling, I knew it couldn't be any good news that he had for me.

I silently prayed that this would be nothing, that he was just coming to check up on how I was doing.

But he was there for the reason that I had guessed. There was something wrong.

"I'm so sorry," he apologized after he had given the news to me and my parents.

I wanted to scream. Sorry?! Was that all he could do? Say sorry? Why couldn't he help me? Why couldn't he save me?

But I was just too sick. I knew that. He knew that. As much as we all tried to deny it, we knew what was going to happen. This was coming all along. The day when they would tell us that there was nothing else they could do. The leukemia had completely taken over my body and there was nothing left to do.

I slept the rest of the day. I didn't want to face the reality that was right in front of me, so I dived into a world where I didn't have to think about any of it.

Unfortunately, as is usually the case, when we fall asleep, we ultimately can't escape our thoughts. Dreams haunt us and make it truly impossible to forget.

I woke up in the middle of the night. The room was dark. I looked aroumd, hoping someone had stayed with me. 

The person who had stayed by my side was Josiah. He must have found out while I was asleep and stayed with me.

I didn't want to wake him, but I needed to talk to him. I shook his shoulder gently and he woke up almost instantaneously. 

"June," he said, then let out a small yawn.

"I'm so sorry," he then said, holding onto my hand tenderly. "Are you okay?"

"I guess," I responded, shrugging my shoulders. "I mean, I'd rather not die, but..."

Josiah quickly shook his head. "Don't talk like that, June. You'll be fine, okay?"

I wanted to believe him. But something inside kept screaming at me to say goodbye.