Falling apart

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This was it, I've already been broken, wasn't that enough? Would I ever understand people? More specifically, ever understand her? It seemed as though there was always a reason to turn heel on me, say dirty lies, punish me, accuse me of something wrong. She could dig deep, deeper than anyone else, to those deepest desires I refuse to let surface. Yet, she still figures them out, somehow extracting that far fetched evidence and using it against me. No matter how hard I try to let go, free myself from the grip.. The grip of what? What was holding me? What was it, sucking away my emotions, changing who I am? I don't know if I will ever discover the truth. The truth of love, hate, friendship, pain, emotions. The true meanings, the real definitions. I thought before, all I had to do was protect those close to me from her. Protect them from her seductive words, disgustful smile.. All the things I couldn't understand. As I realized it was time to let go of all that, get control of myself. I did. She, became back to my close best friend. I trusted her, I trusted everything. Only to be turned on yet again. This time I didn't break for I've already been broken. I felt no emotion as I began to delete every fragment of her, from my mind, soul, heart. As hard as I try, she'll always be there, haunting me. Hidden deep within me. As I ignore her invisible pleads..

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