lipstick || h.s. short story

The One Where They Could've Been

It's been five years since the last time I saw his face, the last time I held his hand and walked away from him. The night I returned back into my old apartment, I wiped my tears and started taping the flaps of my boxes shut, ready to move on from the memories and the nightmares I've had in the small space.

It's been five years since I moved into my current home, five years since I took a liking for reality dramas and started adopting a few pets in my home. It's been five years since I decided to stay out and have fun and go home by myself feeling contented and carefree. It's been five years since I have learned to laugh at myself for my mistakes and try not to take anyone's shit and stand my ground. It's been five years since I started working for myself and building everything ground up after my past. It's been five years since I wrote my signature on that paper and heard the last bang of the gavel, the sound that marked my freedom, the blank canvas that was given to me for a new story, a new opportunity.

And since then, I tried not to look back. But it seems like fate likes playing tricks on me, which is why five years later, I'm sitting in front of my then-husband as I drank my tea, studying his features as he spoke about how his mother scolded him for forgetting to buy groceries for a certain party they held before. His face didn't change that much, although it's evident that he's growing facial hair, and his body got a little more buff, his muscles straining in his white sweatshirt.

"Even after all these years, you're still forgetful." I spoke, shaking my head at him.

He sighed in response. "And you still remember my little quirks, don't you?"

"Don't push it." I scoffed.

It was quite refreshing to meet and actually talk with my ex-husband like nothing happened before. But there are still some people talking about how it's not normal to be this civil with my husband after his little cheating scandal, but that was five years ago, and I'm slowly learning and healing myself until it came to the point where it didn't hurt seeing him again. Every person has a different way with coping pain and betrayal, and my way was not far from how other people would do it. I forgave him, but I would say that I'm not ready to be in a relationship.

"It's...really nice to see you again, you know? After all these years, I didn't think you'd invite me into your home and talk for a while." He said, adjusting himself as he drank his cup of tea, overlooking the view of the sea and the fields from my terraces.

My home was the place he never actually wanted in the first place. He wanted to live in the suburbs, but I wanted to live by the sea. He claimed that living by the sea was "too far" from the city proper and it was "prone to disasters", but my heart still wanted to stay by the ocean.

"It's no problem, Harry. We're friends after all." I smiled, but his reaction to that was expected: a cringe, and then a sigh.

I didn't like addressing the past now, because we've cleared the air already and I didn't want to hurt anyone. No matter how times we beat the bush, we're still going to arrive to the same issue. But, it wasn't as awkward as before.

"Have you...went around the beach?" He asked, his voice getting a little bit higher by the end. He cringed because I think he knew the answer to that question, but I was not going to push him.

I laughed. "Of course. I mean, five years and you think I haven't even thought of exploring the place?" 

He scratched his head in shame. "Sorry."

"Hey," I walked over to him and grabbing his face in my hands. "It's fine, alright? Now, do you want to go down by the beach? Just like old times?"

He smiled in response. 

--

"Cosmo, I told you not to run over the damn sandcastles!" Harry screamed at the golden retriever. 

I laughed as I fixed the broken side of the castle, with Harry helping me out. "Don't be too harsh on her, she just loves running around."

"Well, it's ruining our work." He pouted, tongue sticking out while he concentrated in fixing our work. 

I remembered when we used to build sandcastles every time we went to the beach during the end of every semester back in college, no matter how childish it was. It became a past time for us to do this, but it stopped when we got jobs and didn't have time to come back to the beaches. It was the sad reality of growing up, but today, we got a little chance to relive that.

In the end of it all, our sandcastles were washed away by the water, and we ended up chasing the dogs as they ran into the water. Cosmo kept chasing Ollie, the brown shih-tzu running and rolling around with her stubby legs in the air. We continued to laugh at the two, only for a huge wave to topple all of us, causing us to grab the two dogs and laugh at the mess, our clothes soaked and our hair drenched from the salty water. We walked back to the shore, setting the two dogs beside us and sat down to watch the tide roll into the shore and back into the sea. 

"This was the most fun I've had in a while." He panted.

I looked back at him, with his gaze stuck to the horizon. "You know, after everything we've been through, I can't believe we're here, sitting and watching the sunset like we did before."

"I've healed." I replied, looking at the waves. "It wasn't easy, but I had to forgive you if I wanted to move on. It still hurts whenever I look at you and think that we've been through hell and back, only for us to part in the end. But, it wasn't going to be easy either if I held a grudge against you until now. I've healed, but I'm not going to forget what you've done."

He nodded, and his gaze settled on me. "I know, and the empty space by my bed will always remind me of that."

I sighed in response. This was one of those situations that you would not even think of being in. I mean, imagine sitting beside your ex-husband who cheated on you before while watching the sunset. It won't be easy, but learning how to forgive and keeping your distance really makes a difference. And somehow, things might work out in the end.

"You know, I don't have any spare clothes, and it's getting a bit late..." He trailed off.

"You really want to stay tonight, huh?" I smirked at him.

"I'll be at the guest bedroom, don't worry." He raised his hands up in defense.

I sighed. "Fine, you, Ollie and Cosmo are going to stay there."

"Fine." He huffed. "Do you want some Chinese take-out with a bucket of fried chicken and watch movies?"

"Sure." I smiled at him. 

"I'm really glad we're still friends." He genuinely smiled, pulling me closer into his side and leaning on my head.

I sighed, watching as the orange hues mixed with the purple and red skies in the horizon. "Me too."

-THE OTHER END-

(ALSO CHECK OUT MY NEW STORY POSTED ON MY PROFILE!!!!)

AYYEEEE THIS STORY IS FINALLY DONE!! THIS IS ACTUALLY MY FIRST COMPLETED STORY WOW CONGRATS TO ME!! I LOVE ME!! ALSO, I DIDN'T REALLY WANT TO GET THEM TOGETHER AT THE END, BECAUSE SOMEHOW IT'S NOT THAT EASY. I MEAN YES, SHE MOVED ON, BUT NOT TO THE POINT THAT SHE'LL TAKE HIM BACK THAT EASILY, I MEAN THEY DIVORCED FOR A REASON. ONE YEAR OF GOING BACK AND FORTH TO SETTLE THE CASE, ONLY FOR THEM TO GET TOGETHER?? FAM THAT'S TOO TIRING. ALSO Y'ALL MADE ME LAUGH WITH YOUR COMMENTS IN THE EPILOGUE I CRIED. BUT HEY, THANK YOU GUYS FOR SUPPORTING THIS STORY UP TO THIS POINT, YOU ALL HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU GUYS :)

SEE Y'ALL SOON, AND AGAIN, PLEASE CHECK OUT "in silence, we speak" IT'S MY FIRST TEEN FICTION BOOK (still dk if i'll classify it as fiction when it's a bit based on my experience also the first chapter is a bit of a giveaway) PLEASE DO IT FOR ME :)

LOVE YOU ALL!! THANKS SO MUCH!!

love, z.