The Illusion (Book Two in The Illusion of Certainty Series)

Epilogue: Bed Of Lies

(Bed of Lies by Matchbox Twenty)

That night I sat on my bed, flipping the phone open and closed. Mark’s comment running through my mind. Everyone had gone to bed ages ago. Even Michael had gone home.

I’d contemplated keeping Aidan’s charms on my necklace. In the end I moved them all back but the hawk in flight. I put the heart and feather on opposite sides of the bracelet and left the bracelet on the dresser. I couldn’t bring myself to wear it.

I flipped my phone open again and punched in Aidan’s speed dial number. I flipped the phone closed. I looked over at the pill bottle on the night stand. I hadn’t taken the pills like I was supposed to and I’d rescheduled the therapy session. I didn’t want to talk to anyone about my problems but I knew I couldn’t blow it off for long.

I flipped the phone open, Aidan’s picture stared back at me. I’d made him take the picture. He was in his gear; it was one day after sparring class and he didn’t have a chance to change yet.

“Come on, I need a background,” I said.

He smiled, still looking down at his sketch pad. “Don’t those things come with built in backgrounds?”

“Come on, Aidan. Please?”

The corner of his mouth turned up. “I hate getting my picture taken.”

“But you promised.”

He brushed a hand across his face, a small smear of charcoal on his tanned skin. “No.”

“Please?” I asked in a sweet voice.

He laughed. “No.”

I leaned forward and kissed the side of his face. He still didn’t look up.

“It’s not going to work,” he commented.

I worked my way over to his ear and I felt him quiver.

“Stop it. Your parents are home,” he whispered.

I laughed quietly, phone abandoned on the bed. I ran a hand down his neck and then through his hair. His eyes closed. I kissed the side of his face again and he moved his face so my lips met his. He kissed me deeply, tossing his sketch pad away. His hand slid up my leg and rested on my thigh.

“We shouldn’t be doing this,” he commented pulling back.

I smiled at him. I brought up my phone and snapped a picture. He shook his head, smiling. “You are such a tease.”

He kissed me again and I squealed as he tried to take the phone. I hit save before he could delete it. I flipped it closed and tossed it across the room.

“That’s cheating,” he said.

“How so?”

“Because you know I’m not going to get up and go get it.”

I smiled at him. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

I tear slid down my face and I flipped the phone closed. It wasn’t fair. I started crying again, something I couldn’t help doing when I was alone.

My phone rang and through my tear clouded eyes I couldn’t read who it was. I flipped it open and hit ok.

“Hello?” I said, trying to hide the tears in my voice.

The other end was silent. “Hello?” I said again.

“Ana?”

I stopped mid swipe and froze.

“Ai-Aidan?”

“Hey, Sweetness.”

I couldn’t say anything. I was speechless. What was I supposed to say?

“I can’t talk for long,” he said.

That jarred me into talking. “Where are you?”

“I can’t tell you,” he said, sounding pained.

“Why?” I demanded.

“I just can’t.”

“How—how are you?” I said.

He chuckled. “Always concerned about everyone else…”

“Aidan…”

“I’m fine. Really. How’s your brother?”

“He’s fine. He’s got a new scar to show off but he’s fine.”

“That’s good. And Sophie?”

“Fine. She’s happy.”

I could just imagine him nodding. “And you?”

I started crying again. I tried to cover it up by moving the mouth piece away but he’d heard me.

“Ana…don’t cry. Come on…”

“I’m sorry…” I said, scrubbing away the tears.

“Don’t be sorry…please—don’t cry.”

I moved the phone away from my face and tried not to cry. But silent traitor tears slid down my face.

“How are you?” he asked.

“I’m fine.”

He sighed. “You’re lying.”

“No,” I said quickly.

“I shouldn’t have called…”

“No. No, no, don’t say that.”

“Ana…”

“Talk to me. Please?”

“What do you want me to say?” his voice sounded pained.

“Something. Anything. Tell me why—,” my voice cracked.

“Why what?”

“Why’d you do it?”

He remained silent, no noise in the background. “I had to,” was all he said.

“No you didn’t.”

“Yes I did.”

“Aidan…” my voice was heavy with tears.

“I can’t do this if you cry.”

“I’m not.”

“Yes you are. You’re probably sitting on your bed, covers folded over your lap…crying.”

I gave a sad laugh. “You know me too well.”

“Ana…I—I have to go.”

“No. No please don’t.”

“Ana…”

“Aidan, please don’t hang up.”

He sighed. “I told you…”

“Please?”

His end of the phone remained silent but we were still connected.

“I had to pack up your room today.”

“Ana…”

“You packed before…you left.”

“Stop. Ana…please…”

“They tossed your room. Everything was a mess.”

“I can’t…I thought I could but I can’t do this. I’m sorry.”

“No, Aidan wait…”

The other end went dead. I held out the phone and stared at it. That heartache was back. It was like a huge gaping nothingness. My eyes clouded with tears and I started crying again. I snapped the phone closed and tossed it across the room. Thank God my father had gotten a durable phone. It smacked into the wall and landed on the carpet. I flopped back on my bed and willed the tears to stop and the pain to go away.

It hurt so much. My whole body felt like I’d been slammed by a truck.

I fell asleep crying.

Like I did most nights.