Open Wounds | Captain Swan

1. Starting Over

*One Year Later*

The bags under his eyes were visible from far away, but no one excepts any different from a man who didn't sleep properly for the past year. His love for Emma used to be his drug, the one thing that kept his mind straight. He was addicted to it, but now he found a new addiction.... rum. He wasn't even allowed to drink yet, let alone the amount he swallowed per day. Really mature I know, but it was the only thing that decreased the pain. It was all pain she had caused him. She healed his battle scars, but re-opened them to open wounds when she abandoned him.

He had been living in the big blue house he once considered as his home. But he quickly realized Emma was what made it home. He kept residing there because he simply didn't have any other place to go. It was extremely hard for him, every glimpse he caught of the house brought back a memory of Emma, whether it was a happy or sad one, they all made the hole in his heart ache.

He missed her so bloody much. They had only known each other for nearly a year, but it was a year where they both came home and found-for him a new family and for her, her first family. He missed hugging her, kissing her, the way they could built a great amount of passion together, he missed living under the same roof as her. In summary, he missed everything he loved about her, her perfect imperfections.

Alcohol wasn't the only thing he drowned himself in, work became the thing he did all day. David and Robin were more than worried about him. First, they only thought he wanted Emma's funeral to be special when he buried himself into all the arrangements. But it didn't stay like that, he got a full-time job at Granny's. He closed himself up, never talked, never expressed emotions, never opened.

David and Robin tried to talk to him, maybe he was just afraid, but their efforts were in vain. It always ended up the same, until one month ago.

David spend the night at his place, to make sure he really was okay after a night filled with rum.

"Morning," David yawned as he took place at the kitchen table, sitting across from Killian. "You want to hang out with me and Robin later?" He asked, taking a sip of the coffee Killian made for him.

"I can't, mate," He declined. "I have work to do."

He sighed, setting his cup down with a high amount of force. But Killian didn't look up, he didn't even move, he kept staring at his coffee. "This isn't about work, it's about Emma."

"This isn't about Emma." He raised his voice. "I'm just trying to earn enough money to pay for this damn house!!" He yelled, slamming his fist on the table as he stood up. "Or should I just sell it and go live under a bridge?!" He raised his eyebrow as his eyes were focused on his.

David followed his movement and stood up as well. "Of course, not. You can work as much as you like. But you've been drinking all day, you look like you haven't slept in months. I need you to see things clearly before you continue with your life. So maybe it's time you start dealing with death the way other people do."

"How do other people deal with death?!" He yelled as tears pricked behind his eyes and did his best to prevent them from falling.

"They grieve..." David answered, more calmly than he or Killian had before. It took all the strength he had left to keep the tears behind his eyes.

And after that moment he decided it was time for a change. He gathered himself plus his life back together. He stopped drinking all day, and only drank in the evening. He decided to attend to a new college, going to the one he and Emma were supposed to attend to was too painful for him. He kept the house they shared, but moved to live on the campus. However, he did decide to stay in Maine, he was planning to study for becoming a History teacher. It was his favorite subject and he wanted to learn people something, like Emma taught him all kinds of things. So, in a way he did it to honor her.

"So," David began as he plopped down on the couch next to Killian after bringing in the last box. "How's your mental state now?" Killian laughed. "Is that funny?" David asked, furrowing his brows.

"No," He shook his head. "It's just...We're in a time now where technology is such that we can create anything, but we can't seem to create a cure to the pain that the death of our loved ones brings."

"The world is cruel," David said. "But I believe you'll pull through, you always have." He patted his shoulder as a reassuring smile formed on his lips.

"Aye, but this different. My mom didn't die suddenly, we saw it coming years before it occurred. With my brother, I was too young to truly understand. And now the pain has mostly subsided. But with Emma, I loved her more than anything and now she's gone." Tears ran down his face after he had spoken the words. One year after her death and the pain was still the same, tears were still unpreventable and he still had that hole in his heart.

After that they didn't exchange another word. They only said goodbye when David decided it was time to leave. Perhaps spending some time alone was what's right for him.

He managed to unpack everything in one night. He stopped when he opened the box with his personal, meaningful belongings. The tears filled his eyes again when he came upon her glasses that she accidentally left. He felt a lump in his throat when he came upon the locket he gave her with a picture of him inside. And he was fully crying when he picked up the photo she left behind for him. They were sitting on top of a big chest in 'their secret hallway'. He kissed her hand and she smiled at him like she knew he was the one. They didn't even realize Belle snapped a picture until she handed it to them a few hours later. He looked up as he blinked a few times and bit his lips to stop new tears from falling.

He only realized it was already past midnight when he glanced at the clock. He didn't even notice the exhaustion anymore. He put the last pile of clothes into his closet before walking over to the window. He stared out of it. His room has a view over the country side of Maine. The building was surrounded by trees and in the distance, he could see small mountains, it made him see how lucky he was. It was already August and he was more than surprised when he could get in this late.

But little did he know he wasn't the only one who got in this late...Little did he know it was someone very familiar to him.