Harry Styles Imagines

24 - Changing - PART 1 (au)

Changing - Part 1

                                                   Christmas time always was my favourite time. You could spend time with the one's you love and just be happy. Unless you have someone who still wants to be around you. I once had someone and I thought I couldn't be happier. He dragged me out of the darkness whenever I needed to be rescued.

 Until this one time; this one time where no one could help me anymore. I was a wreck and he tried so hard, and even if it only was for our daughter, but he tried and I didn't let him help me. I first realized that I lost both when he moved out and took our daughter with him. He told me that he won't come back until I changed, until I let someone help me.

 It took me almost three years to realize that I really needed help.

 Now, three years after they have left me, I stand in front of their door, afraid of what is waiting for me behind those closed doors. I just have to ring this bell and hope they are at home. It is not as easy as I thought it would be. What if he won't recognize me? What if he won't believe me? What if he won't let me see her?

 It has been three years; she doesn't even know who I am anymore but he does and I know he will recognize me. Even if he has someone else—He can't deny that he once was in love with me. Our daughter is the proof for our once so strong and beautiful and true love.

 I let out a deep breath and press my finger against the button to ring the bell of this small but peaceful house. Seconds later the door opens and I stare directly in his face. Emerald green eyes widening when he sees me, his fingers running through the still curly mess that I loved to play around with when we cuddled.

  "Hello Harry." I breathe, clenching my hands into fist.

  "You cannot just come over, Y/N." He greets me back and I feel like someone slapped me. His words hurt although I understand why he said them, "You should have called."

  "I'm sorry. I was just—I saw your house and I thought I could—I don't know why I'm even here." I ramble and press my flat hands against the cold house wall to steady my balance since everything seems to be spinning.

  "Are you drunk?" Harry asks, carefully, but I quickly shake my head.

  "No, no, no! I stopped! I stopped!"

 Harry leans against the door frame, crossing his arms in front of his chest. The uncertainty is visible in his eyes. He still looks as handsome as he did three years ago. Even though he looks tired he seems to be happy and that hurts. Because he is happy without me.

  "I wanted to see her." I tell him and Harry stiffens. He clearly is still as protective as he was the years before.

  "I don't think today is a good time for it," Harry presses, "I don't want to ruin her Christmas."

 Ruin—this word hurt a lot. I know I could ruin her Christmas with my visit but maybe she wants to see me.

  "Did she ever ask where her mother is?"

  "Yes, always."

  "Why can I not see her then?"

  "Because I don't know if you have changed."

  "Look at me, look me in the eyes and tell me if you see the same woman you saw three years ago!" I demand and point at my eyes. Harry presses his beautiful lips into a thin line, raising his chest, flexing his muscles. But he looks at me, really looks at me. I can see that he is searching for the once broken and depressive woman I was and I also can see that he can't find her.