Chapter 25

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I went in his old bedroom and took the medicine, and I went right to bed.

Or he thought. I just laid there and stared at the wall.

He lied to me. I know he's Shane and he loves me and he protects me but he lied.

I feel like coming here poisoned us.

I want to run. I want to run like I did last time.

He's was asleep. The whole house was asleep. I didn't see a problem. I just need time to clear my head.

I wrote a note.

I've left early

I put it on my pillow and I left.

I'm driving through Nebraska. I've gotten a lot of phone calls but I don't really care.

I'm trying to put myself in his shoes and understand, but I just don't.

I'm not even mad. I'm upset. He breached my trust.

We were so happy before we went to his parents house.

We didn't have any problems. We had dance wars and cooked together and sang shitty songs and had tickle wars and wrestling matches.

We were happy.

Now we have problems left and right.

It's been a week and I've been hiding away. I've not spoken to anybody. It doesn't help that Lauren won't talk to me.

My phone starts ringing. It's Shane. I don't answer it. A moment later, it vibrates on the coffee table.

I pick it up.

Shane: can we talk?

I stare at it.

I can't hide for forever.

Me: remember when you told me to think about our relationship?

Shane: yes

Me: I'm actually doing it

Shane: I want to talk. Please?

I don't want to. I'm not ready.

I peek out my window.

He's on his balcony. My building faces his.

I can see him on his phone.

Me: idk

I watch him look at the message. He sets his phone on the coffee table, burying his head in his hands.

Somebody else walks out. Jake.

I watch him talking to Shane. Shane just keeps shaking his head. He stands up then. Shane looks heartbroken.

I feel bad.

I text him.

Me: I still love you, you know.

He looks down at his phone. Jake looks down too.

Shane: I love you too

Shane: if we broke up, fifty years from now when you're married with grown kids and all wrinkly and old, I'd recognize you. I didn't recognize her. I didn't even remember her until she told me her name.

I'm tempted to go out into the balcony.

Shane: I just wanted you to know that

I hesitate.

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