The Thoughts Of The Voices

4: Moving On

I remembered fearing for my lover. He was in war trying defending this country of freedom. Everyday I had chanted for his safe return. Setting up his alter with his name Steve, signed on it.

It seems long ago when we escaped persecution for being homosexuals. We were inspired by the lesbian couple that use to live next to us. If I remembered clearly, their names were Alley and James or Jammie.

We never saw them again. My best guess was that they found a way to freedom. A path me and Steve were looking for. It scared me when he said he wanted to fight for this country.

"Adam, I wanna fight for this country." He had said. "B-but..why?" I said as I took his hands. "Because the US has done so much for us, and the only way to thank them is to help them in return." His smile sent butterflies all around my body.

Even if I wasn't happy with his decision, I supported Steve. Steve with his wild blazing red hair. Steve with his light skin and dark alluring eyes. Steve with his cheerful personality that made me fall in love with him. I hoped seeing him soon. At least until one day. It was Christmas, and our 3 adoptive children were waiting for their father to come home.

He never walked though that door.

Instead it was his general Glen. He handed me a letter with a grim expression. It read;

It is in our deepest regrets to say Steve Madden has died during combat.

Those letters echoed in my head as my body make contact with the floor. I don't remember being carried to bed I did remember the pain weighting down on my chest. My heart was beating fast alongside the paranoia that courses through my veins.

Steve was dead.

I cried as my 3 children held me in comfort, not knowing their father was dead. "A-at least t-tell me, h-he died a h-hero?" I said between gasped of breath. "He died saving me. I am truly sorry." Glen said, hugging me tightly.

I buried my head in his chest as he held me, rubbing my hair. His warm comforted my loss of my lover. "I'll be there every step of the way." Glen said, wiping my tears away.

---

I didn't mean to fall in love with the man that my lover saved. But I did. I knew Steve would've wanted me to move on and be happy. But I didn't forget Steve.

I made my children know Glen was their step-father and would never replace their dead father's place. They seem to accept him and love him. And I never got tired I waking up and seeing him beside me. Every second I spent with him counted. One morning I rolled over to kiss Glen.

His lips and skin were pale and cold.

I knew it was his time to go. I didn't cry, but smiled since he was out of pain and misery. That same week we threw a party in order to cherish him.

So after all this, I smiled and found myself at the end of my life. I laid in my bed, blankets surrounding me, and the scent of my two lovers lingered around. They comfort me in my last moments on earth. Who knows where I'm going after this. The lights darkened as I yawned and closed my eyes.

I never woke up again.

The end.