Forgetting Cynthia

You're different yet I'm Blind

"You look pretty" He said as he opened his door.

"You look nice as well" I said shyly.

Caleb had his hair styled messy again and he was a lot more fit than I could remember. He was in a white shirt and some straight legged black jeans.

"I thought your parents were going to cut you off for not kidnapping me or whatever?" I asked looking at his apartment.

It was really nice actually. It was dim, but nice. The carpet was black and the walls were grey. The furniture was another shade of grey.

"Yeah but I made a secret account last minute that they won't ever know about. You should have been there. The call was terrible. They yelled they screamed. I stuck up for you the entire time though. I told them that I would never let them hurt you. And they said they weren't going to go through their own son just to make your life hell." Caleb said flattening his hair.

There was something different about him but I just couldn't place it.

"I really appreciate it, I just hope that they don't ever hurt you." I said to him looking him in his hazel eyes.

"If they do, then just know that you're worth it to me Cynthia." He said stepping closer to me.

His gaze lingered on my lips and I remembered kissing him on the day that I got kidnapped by the freak in the woods. He made me feel cared for. So I kissed him again today wondering if it would feel the same. But it didn't. It was a great kiss, but the feelings weren't behind it. It almost felt, forced. But it was caleb and I knew he had feelings for me. But maybe he was just feelings down from his parents. We broke the kiss and I looked at him.

"Do you want to talk?" I asked.

"Yeah actually. I want to talk about my parents." He said and he went to sit down on the kitchen floor.

"What about them?" I asked and rubbed his shoulder to comfort him.

"They just, they are such terrible people and I don't know how I am related to them or how they do all the terrible things that they do over the money and stuff? Like how can people be so greedy? Doing or dealing drugs, shipping their kids off, Torturing people, blackmailing them, murder, and so much neglect." He went on the border of frustration and sadness.

His eyes were tearing up so I just held him close.

"I want to cut." He stated.

I thought about it and I could tell him yes or I could tell him no. Cutting always made me feel better. And thinking about parents I started to get into the funk about mine again. Why weren't they here? Why did I have to be alone? At least caleb still had parents whether they were terrible murderers who killed my parents. And I was mad at him for it. I was mad at the world. I was mad at myself for being weak.

"Then lets do it together." I stated meeting his gaze. He got up abruptly and grabbed two knives.

"lets do one on ourselves and one on eachother." He said.

The power flickered off and I heard a storm outside. His tiles were black so it wouldn't stain. I nodded and put the cold blade at my wrist. Then Just like I always do, I pressed it into my skin feeling the metal bite into me. My mind focusing on the physical pain. It was cold yet hot at the same time as I slid it slowly at my wrist across gently as if I were playing a violin. A small welling of blood rose up from the cut and trickled from the wound. I took in a deep breath, feeling instantaneously better. I looked over at caleb to see that he did the same except the cut wasn't as deep. Though for him it didn't need to be. The bigger your burden the harder you cut I would think. I handed him my blade and he handed me his.