To the End of Life

Story

I was falling, falling through the air. I had chosen this death, it was my choice, all the thoughts were mine. I wasn't influenced, I wasn't pushed, I just decided one day to jump off the roof of my fourteen story apartment building. I had a great, full life, I fulfilled my duties in this life now it was time to go on. As I look back on life I see nothing but joy, the only problem was my life was far from joyful. My memories are all I have left, I seem to remember the good, not the terrible.
I had started out as a joyful boy seeing nothing but good on the earth, being happy with what little my family had. My family wasn't the richest of types, my mother having to work three jobs, my father was a drunk, and abusive. I chose to ignore it all, the sadness and depression through my family. We had to live in a rundown apartment, with three rooms. We lived in a rundown neighborhood full of crime. I was so naive at the time, so young, too young to understand what was actually happening. I would walk thirty minutes through streets and alleyways just to get to school. I didn't have friends, I almost never saw my mother, my sisters and brothers didn't care, and my father he was almost always at some bar. I did fine, though, I had a routine, I would wake up, make myself toast, go to school, go home, do homework, then go to sleep.

School was an interesting affair. On the first day I walked into that building I knew I was different. People would give me judging looks, whisper things like "When do you think he took a shower last" or "He looks like a freak". I would never forget that or any of the comments people said, that was the day my whole perspective changed. I knew the pain of my life, I knew how bad my family was, I knew just how poor we were. The bell rang and everyone went to class, I wandered around looking for my classroom. No one would help me they just looked at me as if I were a sewer rat. I finally found the room I was looking for, room 113, I wish I hadn't found it, though when I walked in everybody was already in their seats. Everyone looked at me with disgust, even the teacher gave me a strange look. There was a moment of silence, finally, the teacher spoke up "Hello there my name is Mrs. Batch, I will be your teacher this year. Oh yes, I never got your name sir". "Um, Thomas Young ma'am" I replied. "Well Thomas you may sit next to Robert over there in the back," she said. I quickly went over and sat down before anyone could laugh, tease, or stare at me. Where we apparently learning about Hamlet? The rest of the day went on with more teasing, and mean comments.

It wasn't until lunch when things got really bad. Butch was the name, the name of the boy who had ruined my school experience. He had a muscular body, with a mean look, he wore rich clothes, and just seemed to have a cocky attitude about everything. He was the complete opposite of me, I was skinny, with a sad look, and wrinkled cheap clothes. He walked up to me at lunch and gave me an apple, I didn't think much of it until he spoke very loudly  "He probably couldn't even afford to pay for this apple, why do you think I gave it to him?" Everyone laughed, the laughter could probably be heard from my house that was how loud it was. I wanted to get out of there as fast as I could so I ran, I ran right out of the lunch room. I sat against the bathroom wall and just cried. After a while, I started to hear a commotion outside the door, so I got up thinking it was time for class, but oh was I wrong. Someone must have seen me run in here because a large crowd was gathered outside the door. Butch was in the front looking at me, that's when he grabbed me by the shirt and asked "Why did you run? Were you embarrassed?" He waited for a moment for me to answer, I said nothing, he punched me and said "You don't want to talk fine, I just have one thing to tell you. You will always be below me, I have the money and the power. Do not mess with me." He let go of me, I felt weak. He hurt me in more ways than one, he hurt me physically, mentally, and socially. I just walked to class with my head low, as I cried, no one seemed to care, though. The days went by just like this, everyone looking down on me, Butch bullying me. I just wanted it to end, I thought the school was supposed to be a great experience of friends and learning, I got everyone thinking I was the scum of the earth.
I don't think I was ever happy in my years of school. That is until I got an academic scholarship at the public college in our town, Lox University. It was the happiest day of my life, I was finally happy for once in all my seven years of public schooling. I was going to college, I would've  never been able to afford it if I didn't get this scholarship. I might actually not be poor for the rest of my life, I would have a chance at success. I didn't know what I wanted to be. I excelled in all my subjects, I could do math problems in my head that most can't even do on paper. I was the highest reader in my whole language arts class. I could have really gone into anything I wished. But now that I really think about it I wanted to be a teacher. I don't know why, I just wanted to sort of say thank you to the teachers that helped me succeed, to be the one that helps people like me. That day I walked down the hallways with a prideful look, and full of confidence. I was proud of myself for getting into the college, but also beyond happy because I was about to leave this hellhole they call the school. I would go away from the bullying, teasing, looks, everything. I was interrupted from my thoughts when someone bumped into me. I looked up and saw Butch. "What are you so happy about freak?" he asked. "If you must know Butch, I just found out I got an academic scholarship to Lox University" I confidently replied. "Wow, you got into the petty Lox University. My parents only want me to have the best they are paying for me to go to Harvard" he cockily said. I quickly replied by saying "At least I got in for my skills, not my parent's money". He quickly walked away muttering "At least I could afford to pay for college". That one hit me hard, I stumbled back a little. I was so happy today I had forgotten how poor I actually was.

I had forgotten about my disappointment of a father, my mother who was never there for me, and my sisters and brothers who wouldn't even care if I died. Just for one happy moment, I had forgotten how terrible my life was, how poor we were, how my father would come home drunk on some nights and beat me. I just had one moment, one moment to forget, to forget everything from my past. I wanted to start over, I wanted to be one of them, I wanted to be able to go to the carnival, to afford the newest gaming system. I wanted to have money, money seems to make the world go round. Why are paper and metal so important in this world?  Why do we have the poor and the rich? Why are some willing to help the less fortunate, yet some ignore, and some look-down? Why? Why? Why? So many questions filling my head, so many unanswered questions, some I have answered myself. Why is the world so hard on some yet so easy on others? The questions keep coming, and coming, and coming. Five hours must have the past I have been thinking so long in these halls, but when I look down at my watch merely five minutes have passed. I pull myself out of my thoughts and go to class, I have to run because I am already late.