Concupiscence | HS | currently on hold

XIV. Killer queen

She had told him she wasn't ready and he understood that perfectly, even though he obviously didn't like it. But the using part? That was still a mystery to him. Why did she do it? Why did she take that fucking bubble proposition so seriously? Somehow he couldn't imagine Nina being such a cruel heartless using bitch, so when she said she had no idea he felt the way he did, he believed her. Whether that was the wisest thing to do, was beyond his comprehension.

But Harry did miss her. He missed the way she smiled, the way she rolled her eyes at the silly jokes he would entertain her with. He missed the way she would pretend to be severe whenever she tutored him. Whenever he took a look around his flat, he couldn't help but see her everywhere, memories of them together flooding his mind. At times he even regretted ever taking her here, to his safe haven he called home.

The only place where he did feel safe from her image and his own thoughts was his bedroom. But after three weeks of binge watching Sparks-films, he had to get out. Harry was slowly becoming sick of the self pity and sadness. He was the optimistic kind. Even though he was still in pain, he knew very well that life carried on.

So when louis invited him for the millionth time to have a drink together, Harry decided after three weeks and a few days, it was finally time to face reality, no matter how hard it was going to hit him in the gut. He went into his bathroom and washed himself properly this time. He stood in front of the mirror, put a little bit of that fancy salt spray he had gotten for Christmas in his hair and analysed his reflection. He didn't look too bad, maybe a little tired, but he didn't dwell on that.

As long as he didn't look the way he felt, everything was fine.

After taking the tube to Camden, but having to switch to a tube which could take him to Shoreditch after a last minute change of plan - which was typical for Carter and Louis - he stood in front of the bar where his friends had asked him to meet up. Harry sighed when he saw Louis talking to that girl he was sort of going steady with. He walked through the door and entered the bar only to find Timothy handing his coat to the girl in the vestiaires. Harry patted the lad on the shoulder and forced a smile on his face when Tim turned his head.

"H!" Tim almost shouted in what looked like relief, "I'm so glad you could make it. Lou's woman is driving me fucking nuts already." Timothy shook his head to which Harry smiled again. This time a little less forced.

"It's only the three of you?" Harry asked while tilting his head to the side.

"Carter will be here soon. At least that's what he wrote in his text." Tim sighed before shaking his head with a little chuckle, "You know how he is."

"Yeah," Harry dragged out his uttered words in turn, "At least we got each other, yeah?" He squeezed his mate's shoulder and smirked.

"Let's get pissed together then." Tim concluded and led the way up to the counter.

He ordered himself a beer and checked if Harry wanted a Gin & Tonic as usual. The boy simply shrugged his shoulders and nodded, not really caring whatever poison he got into his system. After the girl behind the bar served their drinks and winked at the curly head, the lads joined Louis and his lady and sat down in the boot. Tim and Harry sipped away at their only source of liquid enjoyment whilst the woman who was now perched on Lou's lap kept blabbing on and on about her latest article in the student newspaper.

She boasted about how honoured she felt when she got the call, how flattering her photo looked on the cover of the wannabe magazine, how much integrity and depth the article possessed. On the other hand, she complained about how little amount of students found an interest in the newspaper, how cruelly ignorant most students pretended to be on the subject of pharmaceutical evolutions and she urged the three lads to buy a copy of the newspaper, for their own sakes. Her words almost felt like some kind of voodoo thread to Harry.