V (boyxboy short stories)

VVhen does the narwhal bacon?

     Valery's eyes opened widely in delight.

     Between the wobbling people, across the dancing floor, near the rows of alcohol bottles, on a worn out stool sat a man. But not just a man.

     A Redditor.

     Valery could tell by the shirt he was wearing- it was dark grey, and had the imagine of a pixelated envelope on the back, with an orange outline. It was a Reddit shirt!

     The man smiled gleefully. It wasn't everyday he met Reddit users- the site was rather... special, let's say, and it wasn't wise to let your close ones know of your account.

     Oh, he couldn't wait to exchange subreddits with the man, share inside jokes, maybe even suggest conspiracies and question the Universe together! It'll be great!

     He slalomed between people nearly skipping, the grin on his face not fading one bit.

     Upon reaching him, he tapped his shoulder, not the least cowered by the man's height. He was a Reddit Brother!

     "Hey, when does the narwhal bacon?" he voiced the community's secret code.

     And the man punched him in the face.

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     Tess's fist responded automatically as if it had been a voice command, his stool slightly wobbling at the sharp spin he took.

     "I'm only wearing this shirt to punch you lifeless faggots in the face, with that shit community of yours, I swear to-"

     He stopped.

     He hated Redditors, he really did, but... he didn't expect the man to be so fragile! He didn't expect him to slump to the floor like a rag doll! And he most certainly didn't expect him to start crying like a newborn baby...

     "Holy shit, man." he murmured, running a hand through his black hair, frustrated. "The fuck is wrong with you?" he hissed, darting a look around at the staring men. Who wouldn't gawk at an adult crying on his butt?

     Bending down, he grabbed him by the shoulders and sat him on a stool, tentatively rubbing his upper arms.

     "You just punched me!" he screeched. "Why would you do that! Why would you punch me in the face!"

     "What the hell is wrong with you, you're like what, twenty? Get your shit together!" Tess yelled.

     "I'm thirty-two you- you jabronie!"

     Tess gaped. The guy was eight years older than him?!

     "Thirty- jabron- what?" he shook his head, snatching some napkins off the counter. "More of a reason not to cry over a mere bust lip!" he said, pushing it onto the wound.

     "What's something like you even doing in a bar like this?" he snapped.

     The man sniffled a couple times, gently wiping the blood. "I came with-th my friend." he panted, looking towards the bathrooms.

     Tess groaned. One of those lunatics was more than enough to deal with. However, when he followed his gaze, he gulped dryly.

     A man- A hulk of a man walked out, looking left and right with a dubious frown on his face. He represented danger.